Our service in the world is informed by our unique identity and calling, meaning it will look different for each of us. So we decided to talk with (Master of Divinity, 鈥�10), Director of Care and Teaching for The Allender Center. Rachael is known as something of a pastor here at 天美视频, even though it doesn鈥檛 look like the more traditional role of pastoring a local church. We asked her about her journey of living into her calling, even when it looks different than what others might expect.
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Could you give us an overview of what you do?
My title is Director of Organizational Development for The Allender Center at 天美视频鈥攚hich, honestly, is really functioning like an Executive Pastor. I get to do leadership development for our staff at The Allender Center, creating consistent structures of communication, professional development, care, support. I鈥檓 also on faculty with The Allender Center, so I teach and work on the blog and podcast, as well as facilitating groups.
It鈥檚 interesting that all of those things鈥攆rom the relational to the technical to the administrative鈥攐ften fall under the role of pastor, too. Which raises another question: What does it mean to be a pastor?
I often joke that being a good pastor is just like being a good parent, but specifically in the realms of spiritual formation and identity development. When I think about a pastor, I think about someone who tells stories that help people locate themselves in a larger story. Both individually鈥斺�淲ho is God, and who are you?鈥� and collectively鈥斺�淲here have we come from, where are we now, where are we going?鈥� I think it鈥檚 about providing good care.
I often say that, vocationally and in my calling, I鈥檓 a pastor by orientation. I find that whether I鈥檓 working in a tea shop and serving people crepes and loose leaf tea, or working on an admissions team recruiting students to a graduate program.
I鈥檓 guessing the tea shop鈥檚 not hypothetical.
No, I worked at a loose leaf tea shop the year after I graduated from 天美视频.
Was there a period of finding it hard to identify as a pastor, since you weren鈥檛 in the traditional paid staff position at a church?
Two moments come to mind. First, I did not come to graduate school to become a pastor, even though I came to pursue an MDiv. I came from a tradition where women couldn鈥檛 be pastors, so I didn鈥檛 have much imagination for myself as a pastor. I came to 天美视频 because I thought I would be a professor. I knew I would do ministry, but I would maybe just do ministry through the academy. Then during my third year, Paul Steinke named me as a pastor. There was something about someone actually naming me pastor, inviting me to see that as part of my identity, that was really powerful.
And then, during our formational years at The Allender Center, there were some moments where we were in the midst of a lot of spiritual warfare and a lot of despair. I remember Dan was introducing me before the large group to teach, and he said, 鈥淩achael really is the pastor of The Allender Center.鈥� And as he said that, there was something that felt really true to me about that. It鈥檚 not a way I would necessarily have seen myself, but it was a way I was bringing myself in the midst of our team, calling us to remember who we are and who we鈥檙e called to be. So I felt like the unofficial pastor of The Allender Center, and then there鈥檚 the question of, what does it mean to be the pastor of a nonprofit? Is that sacrilegious?
It seems like there are layers: Something was going on inside you regarding your own identity and calling, but something else happens when others see that and name it. Why do you think that outward affirmation is so meaningful?
I think there鈥檚 something about anointing that is really important. We see that throughout the text, right? It鈥檚 something we鈥檙e meant for and made for: to have others bless aspects of our calling and identity and vocation. I think it鈥檚 why something like an ordination process holds so much meaning in the Church. There鈥檚 a way of anointing, honoring, and consecrating鈥攕etting apart a role. Though I think, at times in our culture, that setting apart means the role is elevated in a way that some people who have the esteem of pastor really abuse that power, and it creates this false dichotomy that people who are pastors or leaders in a ministry are actually doing ministry, not everyone else. That鈥檚 a really weak, thin theology, a really weak, thin missiology, a really weak, thin sense of what the Church actually is and how it functions.
This process of recognizing your pastoral gifting and embracing that and naming it true鈥攈ow has that journey clarified or refined how you understand calling?
I don鈥檛 see calling as being just connected to vocation. It鈥檚 far more expansive than that. It鈥檚 that sense of knowing that, no matter what I鈥檓 doing, it鈥檚 okay to bring these parts of myself.
And there is some mythology that calling is static, when I actually think it鈥檚 something that develops and grows and shifts. I think it does stay pretty consistent in its rootedness, but the fruit it bears can change in different seasons. So we always need to be growing and learning and have a posture of curiosity and a willingness to surrender to formational processes.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 see calling as being just connected to vocation. It鈥檚 far more expansive than that.鈥�
What would you say to somebody else who is recognizing aspects of their calling as a pastor, but also recognizing that it might come out in an unconventional context?
The more we know who we are, then we can make better decisions about where we want to give those parts of ourselves. Calling, again, is about more than vocation. Calling is about union, calling is about love鈥攊t鈥檚 always about love. So what are the really unique ways that you are equipped and gifted to love people and communities well? For some people, that will look like very traditional roles that have really clear boundaries, really clear definitions, and there鈥檚 nothing wrong with that. For others, it might mean you meander a bit, because there are certain skills you need to develop that go along with that calling. Some people might look at it and go, 鈥淥h, this is a real deviation from your calling,鈥� and I would say, 鈥淣o, I actually think it was preparing me to be more fully equipped for my calling.鈥�
So I would tell people, especially those who will find themselves in more unconventional spaces, we need healers and pastors and artists and therapists working in lots of different contexts. And it may not always look like the textbook. That doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e not being faithful to live out your calling well.
Part of what we鈥檙e exploring is inspired by Barbara Brown Taylor鈥檚 language of your 鈥渁ltar in the world,鈥� and the idea that our work in the world is a form of worship. Do you want to say anything about that?
Oh, I really like that. I was just reading , and I love Paul鈥檚 language of living faithfully to what you鈥檝e been gifted鈥攁nd that鈥檚 going to look different for each person in different seasons, based on different giftings鈥攋ust be faithful to bring those gifts to the world in such a way that it is like a living sacrifice. I think we鈥檙e really scared of that word, sacrifice. And rightfully so鈥攖here鈥檚 been some theological and spiritual abuse that has used a word like sacrifice to maintain oppressive structures of power that are actually anti-Gospel. However, when we give of ourselves in a way that actually leads unto life, I think that鈥檚 that living sacrifice that Paul calls us to.
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