鈥淚 will always be studying and knowing and growing because God is so much beyond my own intellect. This is the place where our knowing can expand beyond the small ways that maybe we have been taught. In order for people to step into healing, we need a renewed imagination that steps beyond what we鈥檝e known before.鈥� Dr. Chelle Stearns

Students at 天美视频 learn to encounter and sit with stories鈥攊ncluding their own. How we were formed, our way of being in the world, and our relationship to God and neighbor all have a profound impact on who we are and who we will become. Understanding how these areas intersect is critical to a student鈥檚 formation as a therapist, counselor, pastor, leader, or artist.聽

Here, Dr. Chelle Stearns and counseling psychology students reflect on their own journeys through the program and how they鈥檝e been transformed at this intersection of theology and psychology along the way. Learn more about our graduate programs including our Master of Theology & Culture and our Master of Counseling Psychology.

The post Transformation at the Intersection of Theology and Psychology appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

Find out more about our Master of Divinity program.

Could you give us an overview of what you do?

My title is Director of Organizational Development for The Allender Center at 天美视频鈥攚hich, honestly, is really functioning like an Executive Pastor. I get to do leadership development for our staff at The Allender Center, creating consistent structures of communication, professional development, care, support. I鈥檓 also on faculty with The Allender Center, so I teach and work on the blog and podcast, as well as facilitating groups.

It鈥檚 interesting that all of those things鈥攆rom the relational to the technical to the administrative鈥攐ften fall under the role of pastor, too. Which raises another question: What does it mean to be a pastor?

I often joke that being a good pastor is just like being a good parent, but specifically in the realms of spiritual formation and identity development. When I think about a pastor, I think about someone who tells stories that help people locate themselves in a larger story. Both individually鈥斺�淲ho is God, and who are you?鈥� and collectively鈥斺�淲here have we come from, where are we now, where are we going?鈥� I think it鈥檚 about providing good care.

I often say that, vocationally and in my calling, I鈥檓 a pastor by orientation. I find that whether I鈥檓 working in a tea shop and serving people crepes and loose leaf tea, or working on an admissions team recruiting students to a graduate program.

I鈥檓 guessing the tea shop鈥檚 not hypothetical.

No, I worked at a loose leaf tea shop the year after I graduated from 天美视频.

Was there a period of finding it hard to identify as a pastor, since you weren鈥檛 in the traditional paid staff position at a church?

Two moments come to mind. First, I did not come to graduate school to become a pastor, even though I came to pursue an MDiv. I came from a tradition where women couldn鈥檛 be pastors, so I didn鈥檛 have much imagination for myself as a pastor. I came to 天美视频 because I thought I would be a professor. I knew I would do ministry, but I would maybe just do ministry through the academy. Then during my third year, Paul Steinke named me as a pastor. There was something about someone actually naming me pastor, inviting me to see that as part of my identity, that was really powerful.

And then, during our formational years at The Allender Center, there were some moments where we were in the midst of a lot of spiritual warfare and a lot of despair. I remember Dan was introducing me before the large group to teach, and he said, 鈥淩achael really is the pastor of The Allender Center.鈥� And as he said that, there was something that felt really true to me about that. It鈥檚 not a way I would necessarily have seen myself, but it was a way I was bringing myself in the midst of our team, calling us to remember who we are and who we鈥檙e called to be. So I felt like the unofficial pastor of The Allender Center, and then there鈥檚 the question of, what does it mean to be the pastor of a nonprofit? Is that sacrilegious?

It seems like there are layers: Something was going on inside you regarding your own identity and calling, but something else happens when others see that and name it. Why do you think that outward affirmation is so meaningful?

I think there鈥檚 something about anointing that is really important. We see that throughout the text, right? It鈥檚 something we鈥檙e meant for and made for: to have others bless aspects of our calling and identity and vocation. I think it鈥檚 why something like an ordination process holds so much meaning in the Church. There鈥檚 a way of anointing, honoring, and consecrating鈥攕etting apart a role. Though I think, at times in our culture, that setting apart means the role is elevated in a way that some people who have the esteem of pastor really abuse that power, and it creates this false dichotomy that people who are pastors or leaders in a ministry are actually doing ministry, not everyone else. That鈥檚 a really weak, thin theology, a really weak, thin missiology, a really weak, thin sense of what the Church actually is and how it functions.

This process of recognizing your pastoral gifting and embracing that and naming it true鈥攈ow has that journey clarified or refined how you understand calling?

I don鈥檛 see calling as being just connected to vocation. It鈥檚 far more expansive than that. It鈥檚 that sense of knowing that, no matter what I鈥檓 doing, it鈥檚 okay to bring these parts of myself.

And there is some mythology that calling is static, when I actually think it鈥檚 something that develops and grows and shifts. I think it does stay pretty consistent in its rootedness, but the fruit it bears can change in different seasons. So we always need to be growing and learning and have a posture of curiosity and a willingness to surrender to formational processes.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 see calling as being just connected to vocation. It鈥檚 far more expansive than that.鈥�

What would you say to somebody else who is recognizing aspects of their calling as a pastor, but also recognizing that it might come out in an unconventional context?

The more we know who we are, then we can make better decisions about where we want to give those parts of ourselves. Calling, again, is about more than vocation. Calling is about union, calling is about love鈥攊t鈥檚 always about love. So what are the really unique ways that you are equipped and gifted to love people and communities well? For some people, that will look like very traditional roles that have really clear boundaries, really clear definitions, and there鈥檚 nothing wrong with that. For others, it might mean you meander a bit, because there are certain skills you need to develop that go along with that calling. Some people might look at it and go, 鈥淥h, this is a real deviation from your calling,鈥� and I would say, 鈥淣o, I actually think it was preparing me to be more fully equipped for my calling.鈥�

So I would tell people, especially those who will find themselves in more unconventional spaces, we need healers and pastors and artists and therapists working in lots of different contexts. And it may not always look like the textbook. That doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e not being faithful to live out your calling well.

Part of what we鈥檙e exploring is inspired by Barbara Brown Taylor鈥檚 language of your 鈥渁ltar in the world,鈥� and the idea that our work in the world is a form of worship. Do you want to say anything about that?

Oh, I really like that. I was just reading , and I love Paul鈥檚 language of living faithfully to what you鈥檝e been gifted鈥攁nd that鈥檚 going to look different for each person in different seasons, based on different giftings鈥攋ust be faithful to bring those gifts to the world in such a way that it is like a living sacrifice. I think we鈥檙e really scared of that word, sacrifice. And rightfully so鈥攖here鈥檚 been some theological and spiritual abuse that has used a word like sacrifice to maintain oppressive structures of power that are actually anti-Gospel. However, when we give of ourselves in a way that actually leads unto life, I think that鈥檚 that living sacrifice that Paul calls us to.

Learn more about our Master of Divinity program and how you can pursue your unique calling.

The post Unconventional Pastor: An Interview with Rachael Clinton appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

If you鈥檝e ever worked in ministry or a helping profession鈥攐r any work that requires your full self鈥攜ou know this matters: the rate of burnout is too high, and the cost too steep, to not take seriously the need for resilience. We launched Resilient Leaders Project to help leaders and communities respond to that deep need in the midst of a changing church and fragmented culture.

Kate: 鈥淩esilient Leaders Project is about trying to come alongside leaders in their context to help them construct lives that support their good work, instead of feeling like their lives are at the cost of their work.鈥�

In reflecting on what drew them into this work, Kate and Laura Wade share about their histories with the Church and how they came to believe it could be a space that would welcome them fully and unequivocally, in all of their brokenness and trauma. Because it turns out that it鈥檚 impossible to talk meaningfully about resilience without also talking about trauma.

Kate: 鈥淭here鈥檚 a depth of experience that you must learn to narrate in your own life if you鈥檙e going to integrate the really hard pieces of your life. It鈥檚 not simply bouncing back to the shape that you were before something hard happened, it鈥檚 saying 鈥楬ow did this really difficult situation, this suffering that I went through, actually form me to be in some way more human, more compassionate, and therefore more divine?鈥欌��

鈥淭here鈥檚 a depth of experience that you must learn to narrate in your own life if you鈥檙e going to integrate the really hard pieces of your life.鈥�

Laura Wade: 鈥淩esilience, to me, is finding healing and freedom and voice in the midst of those harmful places, and being able to meet the Spirit and meet God there to be different, to be more of who we are created to be. That鈥檚 the linking of resilience and trauma. I don鈥檛 think you can have resilience without some level of trauma.鈥�

Shauna: 鈥淎nd maybe you can鈥檛 be a human and not have trauma.鈥�

As we gather to reflect together on the trauma of Christ鈥攖he violence, betrayal, death, and resurrection鈥攊n the Church we might also find space to reflect on our own trauma, to lean into a community of others who can help us find language and meaning for that which is beyond words. This is a beautiful hope, that reflecting on the wounds of Christ in community might help us heal from our own wounds, but it is also a risky, vulnerable hope鈥攐ne from which it is all too easy for many leaders to shy away. The rigorous demands and unspoken expectations of leadership often mean that leaders鈥攅specially in church, ministry, and nonprofit settings鈥攁re left feeling as if they cannot disclose experiences of trauma or uncertainty, and like there is not room for them to receive care.

Kate: 鈥淲ounded healer is language that we usually use, but we gloss over the wounded part, which means that we often have healed wounders in those roles.鈥�

鈥淲ounded healer is language that we usually use, but we gloss over the wounded part, which means that we often have healed wounders in those roles.鈥�

Toward the end of the conversation, Kate and Laura Wade share about their experience in the first full year of RLP, inviting leaders into intentional connection, thoughtful reflection, and new practices that create room for their full selves鈥攊ncluding their trauma, doubt, and brokenness鈥攖o be present in their work and relationship. This integrative work is a central part of building resilience, and it is a gift to journey with leaders as they step into that.

Kate: 鈥淢y hope for the Church is that God鈥檚 not done. And it might not look like the church that it looked like in our parents鈥� or grandparents鈥� ages, it might not be focused on Sunday morning worship, but I think God鈥檚 not done in gathering people in a certain type of way. I want to be part of making that happen, and I want to be part of helping resource the creative and courageous people who are stepping into this unknown territory.鈥�

Resources to Go Deeper

• You can learn more about the Resilient Leaders Project鈥攊ncluding our newsletter, upcoming events, and the application process for our next cohort鈥攁t theseattleschool.edu/rlp.
• Kate shares a poem by an anonymous survivor of rape, which reads in its entirety: 鈥淚 can鈥檛 forget what happened, but no one else remembers.鈥� When she was a student at 天美视频, Kate wrote this moving reflection about the installation and about church as a community that remembers and holds.
• Laura Wade recommends a book about integrating the feminine and masculine parts that live in each of us. The book is by Tami Lynn Kent.
• One of the practices Laura Wade mentions that she has returned to because of this work is running. You can read her reflection about how running helps her return to spiritual health in this blog.
• For more on resilience, you can watch Nikkita Oliver鈥檚 stunning talk from our 2018 Humanity Through Community gathering, and you can listen to Nikkita鈥檚 conversation with Shauna Gauthier from an earlier podcast episode.

The post Resilience, Trauma, and the Hope of the Church appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

That鈥檚 part of why we seek to foster thoughtful spaces for connection and reflection in our community. We believe something holy and vital happens when we gather in prayer, song, and silence, and when we remember that our individual journeys of formation are intimately connected to each other and to our collective journey. Recently, a group of staff and students initiated a weekly Taiz茅 gathering, an opportunity to gather in a prayerful, liturgical space as a way to help ground each other and re-orient to our work together.

鈥淚n grad school, life can get really busy and hectic,鈥� says Megan Doner, Master of Divinity student and facilitator of the Sacred Space realm of Student Leadership. 鈥淭aiz茅 creates this beautiful space that is doing the work of allowing us to connect with God, allowing us to connect with each other, in such a beautiful form of worship.鈥�

鈥淭aiz茅 creates this beautiful space that is doing the work of allowing us to connect.鈥�

Taiz茅 is named for a monastic community in France known for simple, repetitive songs, reflections, and prayers that express an ecumenical commitment to peace and social justice. The short songs with simple language is designed to welcome a diversity of backgrounds, and the quiet space and repetition allow our bodies to settle more fully in the midst of whatever stress and anxiety we may have arrived with.

In the video above, Heather Barnes (MDiv, 鈥�15), Director of Institutional Support, shares more about the nature of Taiz茅 and why she鈥檚 excited to help bring this rhythm to 天美视频. We also talked more with Megan Doner about why Student Leadership prioritizes fostering intentional space for our community to rest, wrestle, and play together.

鈥淲hen we may not have the words we need to be able to say I鈥檓 sorry, or I鈥檓 curious, or I鈥檓 scared, or I鈥檓 afraid, or that I don鈥檛 know you well enough but is it possible we could move in a new way together?鈥攊f we don鈥檛 have the words, sometimes we can do that together in the room through the music, and let the music hold a lot of the things that we don鈥檛 have the words for,鈥� says Heather.

Additional thanks to those who have helped bring this practice into our space: Rebekah Vickery, Jonathan Coopersmith, Daniel Tidwell, Becca Shirley, Jodi Bagge, Caitlin McDanel. Beginning again on May 7, we will gather for Taiz茅 every Tuesday at 12:15pm in the fourth floor Chapel. Learn more on our event calendar.

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We鈥檙e reminded of the power of place every year when we host 鈥攁 gathering of hundreds of leaders and practitioners from around the world, grounded in the conviction that the nature of our service should be shaped not only by our individual identities and callings, but by the very particular stories of the places we serve. Dr. Dwight Friesen, Associate Professor of Practical Theology, is one of the organizers of Inhabit, and he helps equip 天美视频 students to explore the intersections between their stories, the story of God, and the story of the places they inhabit.

鈥淧art of my work here at 天美视频 is to attend to what it means to be located. We are not just souls, and we鈥檙e not just bodied souls. Our bodies are actually placed somewhere,鈥� says Dr. Friesen. 鈥淚n fact, I would say that one of the greatest teachers God gives us is the place where we are, the ecosystem that gives us life and invites us to attend to what our presence looks like, what our footprint is in the everyday stuff of life.鈥�

鈥淥ne of the greatest teachers God gives us is the place where we are.鈥�

The intersection of those threads鈥攜our story, God鈥檚 story, the story of your place鈥攊s where transformative relationships happen, and it鈥檚 where we are most able to step into the sort of wise, creative, and hospitable service that our world so desperately needs.

鈥淲hen we hide behind doctrine or ideology or even an 鈥榠ssue,鈥� it allows us to become almost adversarial toward those who do not hold the same view. When you stay located in place, however, all of a sudden those issues are not issues. Those issues are actually people, people with names who you are encountering. It takes it out of abstraction and into relationship. That鈥檚 what we try to do here at 天美视频.鈥�

We鈥檒l be diving into this April 26-27 at the Inhabit Conference, two days of inspired teaching, energizing stories, and thought-provoking workshops.

The post Place as Teacher appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

It鈥檚 worth remembering, though, that therapists are not the only ones who help foster healing in others by pursuing dynamic, life-giving relationships. Most pastors and chaplains could tell you that, for them, the categories of active listening, attunement, and transformative relationships make up a more-than-full-time job. It is the ministry of presence鈥攁 deep calling to walk with congregants, clients, and neighbors as they wrestle with the risk of connection and live more fully into their own relational identities. Our alumni practicing in their local contexts are a reminder of the vital importance of connection in ministry and the helping professions, and their work and stories are a constant inspiration to us.

(And just in case you hear 鈥渞elationship鈥� and think first and foremost about the particular relationship of marriage, here鈥檚 Emily McBroom鈥檚 [MDiv, 鈥�17] crucial, incisive presentation on )

鈥淢ost pastors and chaplains could tell you that, for them, the categories of active listening, attunement, and transformative relationships make up a more-than-full-time job.鈥�

In Martha Wood鈥檚 (Master of Divinity, 鈥�15) Integrative Project, we鈥檙e reminded that our earliest relationships shape how we develop our identity and style of relating鈥攊ncluding how we relate to God. If our childhood attachments are marked by experiences of abandonment or misattunement, our conceptions of God may feel very much the same. Martha argues, then, that in the work of Spiritual Direction, helping others foster a deeper connection to the divine is intimately connected to the need for healing in their human connections.

As they pursue relational healing that fosters divine connection, spiritual directors, chaplains, and pastors walk with others as they come face-to-face with their experiences of trauma. For her Integrative Project, Jessica Dexter (MA in Theology & Culture, 鈥�18) explored Jessica, who now works as an Associate Chaplain with the Mental Health Chaplaincy, argues that our biggest questions about God should not be written away with easy answers that deny the gravity of trauma. Instead, by wrestling in the midst of community with the pain of trauma and its very real, ongoing effects, we may begin to arrive at a new understanding of the divine.

In this work, it is crucial that ministers and leaders鈥攏ot just therapists鈥攔emember that spiritual health cannot be separated from physical and mental health. To forget that may amount to a form of spiritual neglect, argues Molly Erickson (MATC, 鈥�17) in her powerful Integrative Project about Molly鈥檚 thesis is that 鈥淪ome of the ways the Church responds to people with anxiety and depression can be classified as a form of spiritual abuse or neglect,鈥� ultimately exacerbating symptoms, furthering alienation, and damaging the connection to God. Pastors and leaders who hope to build healthy, generative community, then, must be willing to acknowledge and support the challenges and needs related to mental health. And this requires鈥攁s we鈥檝e said before and we鈥檒l say again and again鈥攐ffering a space in which the work of healing can unfold through the context of relationships.

While time spent in class is a crucial part of learning to offer that space, we know that transformative learning must also occur outside of the classroom, through embodied, day-to-day work with others. Just as the work of healing is intimately connected to human connection, so is the work of learning; it is through relationship that theory becomes practice. That鈥檚 why all of our students being trained for pastoral care, chaplaincy, and ministry leadership are required to participate in immersive field experience outside of our building.

In this video, Dr. Ron Ruthruff shares his dream that our city and world might be a laboratory of learning for students, a place where they are invited and trained to ask beautiful questions about themselves, their communities, and the Church. 鈥淧ractically speaking, that happens by getting students out of the classroom,鈥� says Ron. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 my dream: that we鈥檙e in the world, and that we鈥檙e in real places doing real work.鈥�

The post The Ministry of Presence appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

Serving in local church ministry is one of my deepest joys in life. It鈥檚 also one of my deepest heartaches.

I think anyone who works with people in any personal way knows the deep joy and deep heartache that comes from knowing the stories of those people, and having your own story interact with theirs.

And yet, people are given to us pastors to love, to guide, to listen to, to challenge, and to remind them (and ourselves) that God is always inviting us into something deeper, something next. Our work is to cultivate the ability to pay attention, and to respond accordingly.

Pastoral work is hard. It鈥檚 painful. But the beauty of this work has begun to seep into my bones, and mark me in ways I鈥檓 sure I鈥檓 not yet fully aware of.

This work still takes much out of me, which is why I鈥檝e had to learn the hard way so often to take care of myself, and limit myself, as I live into this strange and wonderful vocation.

As I continue to grow and learn and make mistakes as a pastor, here鈥檚 a few things I’m learning that are saving my life. If you鈥檙e in pastoral ministry, or if you鈥檙e thinking about doing this work, I hope this helps.

Ten Thoughts on Sustainable Pastoral Ministry, from a Novice

1) God made you with limits, and your invitation is to honor those limits, whether they are physical, emotional, or family-based. To live out of your limitations is to honor how God created you.

2) Developing a regular rhythm of Sabbath (weekly for my family) will save your life. Sabbath isn鈥檛 about keeping rules, but acknowledging limits, and trusting that as you deliberately take time to be unproductive, God will continue to do the work that only God can do to make your life and ministry fruitful and productive.

鈥淭o live out of your limitations is to honor how God created you.鈥�

3) Your kids will only get one childhood, your spouse will only have one marriage with you. Arranging your life so that these relationships will thrive is what your ministry faithfulness needs to come out of, not be in spite of.

4) You are worth knowing, you are worth taking care of yourself, you are worth asking for the help that you need, because you are made in the image of God. You are worthy of love and belonging.

5) When you begin to live into these sorts of ideas, there will be people around you that might feel threatened, because they don鈥檛 live this way. Tread carefully, but trust that sometimes people need to have far less influence in your life than they do. God will always bring the people into your life that you will need to help you get to the next phase of what God is inviting you into.

6) You cannot do this work alone. You simply cannot. You need friends who will love you, who will listen and care, but who will tell you the truth. You need guides and elders who will give you relationship, who will mentor you and give you appropriate feedback. You need coaches and therapists and spiritual directors who will help you with your work, help you with your emotions and story-work, and who will continually invite you to consider where God is in the middle of your life. Building into these relationships in your life will help set the foundation by which you can begin to thrive.

7) There will always be people who don鈥檛 like you. There’s nothing you can do to avoid that. It鈥檚 up to you to determine how best to respond to these folks. You can ignore them. You can defend yourself against them. You can get in the mud and wrestle with them. You can passive-aggressively needle them. I鈥檝e done all of these things, and I鈥檓 never better off for having done them.

I鈥檝e learned from Bren猫 Brown that it鈥檚 good to hear from and learn from folks who are critical of you, but it鈥檚 not helpful for you to give everyone equal weight in your life with their words and ideas. If the critic isn鈥檛 in the arena with you, working to birth the thing you鈥檙e working to birth, their words don鈥檛 count as much. They may FEEL strongly, but if they’re not committed to the same dreams, the same goals, and the same future as you and your partners are committed to, then be kind, but pay little attention. Ask, 鈥淲hat is there in this for me to learn?鈥� and then continue doing your work.

8) Take your own spiritual formation as a child of God more seriously than you do anything else in your life and leadership. You are only as good as your deep connection to God. Your own growth, your own health, and your own formation will directly correlate to how you lead others into spiritual growth and health.

9) You are not simply growing an organization, you are creating the conditions where the lives of those whom God has entrusted to your care can begin to grow and change. Spiritual growth is a funny thing. It鈥檚 difficult to pin down. How does it work? How do we do it? Sometimes, I have no idea. Most of the time, I know it has to do with intention, quiet, solitude, silence, service, generosity, hospitality, study, prayer, and healthy relationships.

Take one thing at a time. This will take years, but do it anyway. You, and those around you, will be grateful for decades, even though most will never know all the work you鈥檝e put into becoming a healthier, more spiritually mature person.

10) In your pastoral work, it鈥檚 best to see yourself as a farmer. Of course, what I mean by this is a small-scale farmer growing a diversified crop plan, using mostly organic methods. These kinds of farmers know that they don鈥檛 grow anything, they only create the conditions whereby the seeds they put in the dirt can begin to grow.

Good farmers know they don鈥檛 grow melons or tomatoes, or raise pigs or chickens. Good farmers know they grow soil. They know the health of everything they do is directly connected to the health of the soil they鈥檙e working with. If the soil isn鈥檛 healthy, good farmers know that the fruit they harvest (if any) won鈥檛 be healthy either. Good farmers are dirt farmers.

And over time, while making daily investment into the care of their dirt, they plant seeds in the ground that will eventually begin to sprout. And as they care for these fledgling seedlings, they know that one day, months away, they will reap a harvest this is grace upon grace upon grace.

Pastors are farmers. We put the mess of life into the ground, believing that the impossible can happen. That the Maker will, through Mystery and Grace, take that mess and make it a rich compost, teeming with life and goodness that will, one day, produce so much life beyond itself.

Pastoral work is a mystery. Over time, as you add up all the meetings, the study, the prayer, the sermons, the leadership, the leading change, the invitations, the money management, the administration, the people鈥攕o many disparate things鈥攐ver time, as you do this work faithfully, God will begin to help this work take root in the soil all around you, in ways you couldn’t have planned for or expected. This work will certainly change lives. Your own life will change the most.

Peace to you on this journey toward a fuller spiritual transformation that will lead to a more sane and robust life in ministry.

May it be so.

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My spouse walked in the door and sighed. He鈥檇 been at a meeting of our church鈥檚 leaders and he expressed his concern that a church staff member might be struggling. I instantly felt my chest tighten, constricting my breath. This anxiety had become a familiar feeling as my husband and I had taken on significant lay leadership in our church. We focus on staff care, and our congregation has experienced several years of major transitions. I felt like Nehemiah rebuilding the temple while under duress. Half of Nehemiah鈥檚 workers carried and placed the stones; the other half stood vigil with spears. I sensed I was trying to do both, with the weight of a stone in one hand and burden of upholding a spear in the other hand.

鈥淚 think we need a leadership sabbatical,鈥� I told my husband. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 carry this kind of weight anymore.鈥�

鈥淲ell,鈥� he responded kindly, 鈥淚 guess we are just going to have to find a different way to carry it.鈥�

In another role in my life, as the researcher on 天美视频鈥檚 Resilient Leaders Project, I conducted a survey of more than 100 Christian leaders to assess their current practices and needs. One of the most significant findings was that leaders who disengage from their ministry work on a daily basis reported a higher level of satisfaction in all three categories we measured: personal spiritual life, rest and renewal, and emotional support. This correlation makes sense considering that the time spent not working can be invested in relationships, in rest, and in having a spiritual life that is rooted not in your work but in your primary identity as the Beloved of God.

The ability to disengage with one鈥檚 ministry vocation is a key to resilience. In fact, our ability to stay in ministry over the long run may depend on our ability to walk away from it every day.

鈥淥ur ability to stay in ministry over the long run may depend on our ability to walk away from it every day.鈥�

But in spite of the dramatic positive effect of 鈥渨alking away,鈥� less than one third of our survey participants said they disengaged with their work daily. Thirty-nine percent of participants said they disengaged weekly, and 23 percent reported that they are able to disengage only monthly, quarterly, or annually. The remaining 7 percent of participants indicated that they do not often鈥攅ven annually鈥攆ully disengage from their work.

This consuming engagement is understandable: vocation brings meaning to our lives, and our responsibilities are real. Altruism is a characteristic of many who choose ministry, with martyrdom a consistent temptation. Ministry is full of dual relationships: how do you define when you are giving or receiving care as a leader and when you are giving or receiving care as a friend? How do you not talk about the work when the work is one of the main things you have in common?

Daily disengagement is not just the absence of mental or physical work; it鈥檚 a willing emotional detachment from the perceived weight of leadership. It鈥檚 collaboratively setting boundaries in relationships and in our souls. It is helpful to leave the building, stop checking email at home, and have separate work and personal phones. But you have not truly disengaged if you are writing a sermon in the shower, replaying an interaction over and over in your mind, or constricting your breath from the stress of how you carry your vocation.

Developing rituals or positive habits can help us disengage emotionally and physically. A former ministry colleague who does intercessory prayer carries a crucifix in her pocket. When she has finished praying for an individual, she fingers her crucifix as a way of symbolizing that she is transferring to Jesus the weight of the suffering while also acknowledging the limits of her own control over situations. Jes Kast, a minister in the United Church of Christ, goes to the gym after work; she says that releasing the conversations and concerns of ministry in a physical way allows her to return home with a greater peace in her body.

The failure to disengage is an idolatry of sorts: we make a God of ourselves when we try to carry ministry like Atlas carries the sky. (In Greek mythology, Zeus punished Atlas by forcing him to hold up the sky鈥攁lso called the heavens鈥攆or eternity.) For me, releasing this idolatrous burden means challenging my self-talk that says, 鈥淲ithout me, the sky will fall. Without me, this ministry will fall apart.鈥� Releasing this burden means remembering that this church is God鈥檚, and God is free to do with it whatever God pleases.

鈥淭he failure to disengage is an idolatry of sorts: we make a God of ourselves when we try to carry ministry like Atlas carries the sky.鈥�

God鈥檚 work does not have a one-to-one correspondence to our efforts. God鈥檚 work is much more mysterious and magical than we often notice. In the parables of Jesus, growth in the kingdom of God is an unfathomable, organic process. We do not know how it happens, only that it does.

[Jesus] also said, 鈥淭his is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain鈥攆irst the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.鈥� Mark 4:26-29 (NIV)

The kingdom grows while we sleep; our daily disengagement does not disrail the work of God. In truth, it is the opposite: God offers us this disengaged rest as a gift of love.

鈥淚t鈥檚 useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don鈥檛 you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?鈥� Psalm 127:2 (MSG)

One practice I鈥檝e developed to help me disengage is having clarifying conversations with my friends about when we will and will not discuss ministry. I also don鈥檛 do chores after 9:00pm鈥攁 practice that was crucial to my resilience when my kids were little. A habit that helps me transition to resting brain is to cuddle up to my spouse and watch a show on Netflix. As a person who has a hard time disengaging mentally, I need my mind engaged in a story that is not my own. The nearness of my spouse reminds me to breathe.

Though our church is rebuilding our figurative temple, the community we are building is God鈥檚. If I鈥檓 going to be able to see this new work of God through to its completion, I鈥檓 going to have to let God carry the weight of our faith community. God has called me to spend my days building or protecting鈥攍ifting the stones or holding the spear, but not both at the same time. Yet God has equally called me to disengage in the evenings, to walk away, to let our magical and mysterious God grow the kingdom while I rest.

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Dwight shares about how he first came to 天美视频 and discovered a deep alignment between the mission of this institution and his own personal calling. As he reflects on what he dreams about personally and collectively, he reflects on the parish theology that compels his ministry, teaching, and writing.

Dwight: 鈥淥n a personal level, I think the dream of my life is to learn what it is to love: to love others, to love God, to love myself, to love place, to love what it is to be a creature. There are a lot of things that compete for my affections other than loving relationship. To actually throw myself into the gift of love鈥攖hat, on a personal level, feels like the dare of my life.鈥�

As Derek and Dwight talk about teaching at 天美视频, they reflect on the unique challenges of education when transformation is the goal, not merely a checklist of correct answers. Dwight shares how, motivated by a relational, trinitarian theology that is grounded in the parish, he no longer sees his professorial role as primarily about imparting knowledge.

Dwight: 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not a Christian endeavor. I don鈥檛 think I鈥檓 in the knowledge business. […] Anything that collapses into theory is just not adequate.鈥�

Derek: 鈥淵ou鈥檙e talking about something that is beyond words, that is much more holistic.鈥�

Dwight: 鈥淚 increasingly believe that I am less a professor professing truth as I am a witness, bearing witness to what is real as to what I鈥檝e known and experienced of the living God.鈥�

鈥淎nything that collapses into theory is just not adequate.鈥�

The conversation turns to local expressions of church, and Derek and Dwight talk about the complexities of living these concepts in real, messy, day-to-day life. The emotion in Dwight鈥檚 voice is clear as he speaks of his deep love for the Church and his hope that local churches will not drift into abstraction or ideology but will grow into vibrant expressions of the tangible movement of God in their communities. That鈥檚 the hope that informs Dwight鈥檚 work, whether it鈥檚 teaching in the classroom, co-facilitating the Leadership in the New Parish certificate program or the , or just walking around his neighborhood.

Dwight: 鈥淕od is doing what God does and renewing God鈥檚 people, not for the sake of the church but for the sake of the world. […] Somehow proximity dares me, woos me to figure out how do I actually live rightly with my neighbors, in such a way that it calls us both into a better way of being.鈥�

Resources to Go Deeper

Here are a few of the voices that emerged during this conversation. These texts help expand the way of listening to the triune God in the particularity of place that Dwight is so passionate about. And if you鈥檙e interested in joining with hundreds of others who are passionate about the place-based theology and practice Dwight discusses here, we hope you鈥檒l join us for the Inhabit, April 27-28 in Seattle.

• by Esther Lightcap Meek
• by Colin E. Gunton
• by Paul Sparks, Tim Soerens, and Dwight Friesen

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鈥淭he Resilience for Sustainable Leadership program reflects 天美视频鈥檚 foundational conviction that to be successful in a rapidly changing environment, leaders must become competent at reading the cultural context and responding to complex human needs,鈥� says Dr. Craig Detweiler, President of 天美视频. Such work requires sustainable practices, integrative thinking, and emotional resilience. To that end, the program will contribute to an understanding of the challenges facing the church and will clarify the characteristics and skills of resilient leaders.

This work is informed by 天美视频鈥檚 alumni, who continuously expand institutional awareness of the beauty of work in ministry and healing professions as well as the challenges: loneliness, burnout, lack of denominational support, the necessity of bi- or tri-vocational work, and the need to pastor outside of traditional church settings. A robust connection to its thriving network of more than 1,000 alumni allows 天美视频 to hear from churches and communities throughout the world for on-the-ground perspective and insight.

The program is also heavily informed by research and conversations with leaders in denominational and nonprofit settings. It contributes to an ongoing conversation about the tension between innovation and sustainability鈥攚hich 天美视频 has observed firsthand as the Pacific Northwest continues to grow at unprecedented rates.

The first phase of the Resilience for Sustainable Leadership project has been to conduct research to identify leaders鈥� needs and to develop a program to respond to those needs. This summer, 天美视频 will be launching the pilot year of this program. (MDiv, 鈥�15) has been selected as the Project Manager, working under the leadership of , Academic Dean and Senior Vice President of Academics.

鈥淭his marks not only the beginning of our partnership with Lilly Endowment, but a new opportunity to further the mission of 天美视频,鈥� says Dr. McNeil. 鈥淲e are thrilled for the funding of this project and the opportunity to deepen our relationship with pastors around resilience and community leadership.鈥�

鈥淭his marks a new opportunity to further the mission of 天美视频.鈥�

Lilly Endowment has pledged more than $20 million in grants through the Thriving in Ministry Initiative. 天美视频 is one of 24 organizations taking part in the initiative from a wide variety of Christian practices and traditions.

鈥淢any pastors are seeking role models and wise colleagues who can guide them through professional transitions and challenges encountered in particular ministry contexts,鈥� said Christopher L. Coble, Lilly Endowment鈥檚 vice president for religion. 鈥淥ur hope is that this grant will support a new wave of efforts that help clergy thrive and lead their congregations more effectively.鈥�

Lilly Endowment Inc. is an Indianapolis-based private philanthropic foundation created in 1937 by three members of the Lilly family鈥擩.K. Lilly Sr. and sons J.K. Jr. and Eli鈥攖hrough gifts of stock in their pharmaceutical business, Eli Lilly & Company. The Endowment exists to support the causes of religion, education, and community development.

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