wilderness Archives - ��Ƶ of Theology & Psychology

Learning Beyond Walls

��Ƶ — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 18:26:01 +0000

We believe that transformative education—the kind of learning that gets in your bones and changes how you see the world—cannot be contained to the classroom. When we go outside our building to learn from others, encounter new stories, and wrestle with hard questions amid the messiness and complexity of our world, that’s when the ideas and theories from the classroom are given new life.

Earlier this year, two summer-term classes took ��Ƶ students beyond our walls (and beyond Seattle). In Engaging Global Partnerships, Dr. Ron Ruthruff, Associate Professor of Theology & Culture, and Cheryl Goodwin, Director of Institutional Assessment & Library Services, led a group of students to Kenya, inviting them to let their assumptions, beliefs, and practices be challenged and clarified by the stories of a place and the people who serve it. That same month, spiritual director and pilgrimage guide (MA in Theology & Culture, ‘12) and spiritual director and retired faculty member Tom Cashman journeyed to the Sonoran Desert in Arizona to guide students through a pilgrimage grounded in the ancient Christian tradition of desert spirituality.

Engaging Global Partnerships in Kenya

“We’re taking a deep look at the history of colonialism and religion, and the relationship between a place and the people who inhabit it—especially in places of wounding. How can we enter those wounds in a way that is honoring to others’ stories and also helps us reimagine our shared future?”
–Dr. Ron Ruthruff

Pilgrimage to the Sonoran Desert

“During our time in the desert, we explored the ancient Christian tradition of desert spirituality with an emphasis on the apophatic way and the contemplative path. The word apophatic means ‘without image,’ and during our time in the desert we sought to abandon our expectations and preconceived notions of God through themes such as awareness, inviting us to non-dual consciousness; surrender, inviting us toward a posture of kenosis or self-emptying; and encounter, inviting us to be present to the desert, the Divine, and ourselves with loving indifference or non-attachment. Ultimately, the fierce landscape of the desert served as teacher and guide on our journey, teaching us how to tend to and be with the sacred and fierce landscape of the soul within.”
–Lacy Clark Ellman

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Alumni Story: Entering the Wilderness

Jessica Hoekstra — Thu, 30 May 2019 13:00:04 +0000

Our next Throwback Thursday comes from Jessica Hoekstra (MA in Counseling Psychology, ‘17), an artist and Chicago native who currently works in community mental health in Seattle and as an Assistant Instructor at ��Ƶ. Jessica writes about the pain of engaging our own stories as we grow the capacity to work with others, and about how profoundly hopeful that work can be.

I distinctly remember sitting in my apartment on the westside of Chicago, surrounded by the noise and clamor of my neighborhood, when I was notified of my admission to ��Ƶ. I had begun to fall in love with the under-resourced neighborhood I had moved into to live in intentional presence with my neighbors, to live out the values I ascribed to through my work and personal convictions. I was hesitant and excited to step into the possibility of graduate school—knowing it would mean major upheaval, loss, and also great possibility.

When I said yes to ��Ƶ, the next six weeks felt like an almost paralyzing state of transition, on the threshold of learning what it is to remain in a liminal space. In a strange way, that time of liminality allowed me to resonate with my under-resourced neighbors in a unique way—people who are constantly experiencing displacement, loss, joy, grief, and so admirably holding it all in tandem with a hope like I’ve never known.

That disruptive and exciting feeling of transition did not end when I finally made it to the Emerald City from the Windy City. Even after several months, I still unabashedly described myself as “in transition.” That said, over time, I could feel bits of myself that had been scattered start to settle into place. I learned to developed a new set of rhythms between work, school, and trying to create a sense of place and community here.

I have taken to referring to this time as a wilderness. As a student, I was asked to invite the transformative possibility of engaging, naming, celebrating, and grieving my own story. I would much rather engage, name, celebrate, or grieve the story of those around me, but I learned very quickly that my ability to engage the stories and heartache of those around me required that I first do that work for myself. How dare I imagine otherwise? At the end of first year, my Listening Lab Facilitator applauded me for learning how to show myself the same compassion I extend to others. My capacity for grace and mercy for others was expanding as I learned to engage my story with the same gentleness.

In the midst of this journey, we are encouraged not to rush through to the other side, but rather to dwell in the wilderness. I have come to believe this is a profoundly beautiful and necessary task. Like the nation of Israel in the Old Testament, I believe the pillar of cloud and light goes before me as a figure of hope.

One of the most memorable images from my first term was part of a lecture on our capacity for hope. We looked at a well-known image of modern dancer and choreographer Martha Graham, known for creating a movement language based on the expressive capacity of the human body. Dr. Chelle Stearns referred to this sweeping motion as a “gesture of hope.” Such a gesture is only achieved through intentional practice. Like Martha Graham, we practice ourselves into a hopeful posture. As a result, we must learn to bless what life is in this moment—all that we are holding: possibility, potential, all that is unresolved in our hearts. I have no doubt that Martha Graham endured hours of practice and her fair share of pain to achieve such a gesture. So it is with hope. What a beautiful emblem of the resurrection!

As a part of the Artist’s Way class that spring, I completed a creative project inspired by Martha Graham’s gesture of hope. In an effort to practice my own posture of hopefulness, I created a flip book that traced the movement of the dancer into the full gesture of hope. 35 small drawings of a dancer and her sweeping motion. At the presentation of our creative projects, I shared my piece and how my neck ached and my eyes burned after several late nights drawing and re-drawing only slight variations of the same motion. “Ah, yes. But that is what it is to practice a hopeful gesture,” Dr. Stearns commented. She was right. In the very execution and embodiment of my project, I had tasted hope. It is bittersweet but absolutely worth it.

I hope that in the days to come, my little flip book can serve as a reminder of the beauty we’re working towards. Like that pillar of light in the wilderness, it calls us back to the wilderness at our feet and the promise of a Presence that transcends our circumstance.

In one of the readings I encountered as a student, the author noted a poem by Julia Esquivel. She says we have been “threatened with resurrection” and this is what keeps us up at night. I can’t imagine a better reason for a vigilant night than the profoundly hopeful and startling threat of resurrection.

Join us in this vigil
and you will know what it is to dream!
Then you will know how marvelous it is
to live threatened with Resurrection!
–Julia Esquivel,

If Jessica’s story of hope resonates with you, and if you’re wondering if ��Ƶ might be part of the next chapter in your own journey, we’d love to chat. It’s not too late to join our 2019 cohort starting this fall, and the next application deadline is June 24. Learn more at .

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Nurturing Body and Soul Through Rituals, Movement, and Story

��Ƶ — Mon, 13 May 2019 18:20:34 +0000

All this month we’re exploring the art of nurturing identity and formation in a way that clarifies calling and sustains deep, meaningful work in the world. We’re intentionally using a bodily, sensory word like nurture because we believe that this is not merely an intellectual pursuit but one that calls for our full selves—body, mind, and spirit.

Of course it is all too easy to tune out our bodies, to ignore how they communicate our need for nurture. What are the practices that help us listen to our bodies? What are the rhythms and rituals that connect us to those deep, vulnerable parts of our bodies and souls that are crying out for care? Our students and alumni have been wrestling with these questions in beautiful, creative ways for many years, and we often turn to their voices when we need to remember how to be present in our bodies. Today we’re sharing a few of those voices—thoughtful presentations inviting us to engage the rituals, rhythms, and age-old practices that draw us back to our deeply human need for nurture. And if you’d like to join us in the gift of learning from the integrative and insightful work of our students, save the date for the annual Integrative Project Symposium on May 31.

At our second annual Symposia in 2016, Heather Stringer (, ‘10) presented “Breaking Frozen Seas: How Rituals of the Body Transform Clients and Communities,” exploring how intentional, sensual rituals open us to learning from our bodies as we pursue healing from trauma. “I think our body longs to teach us, it longs to mother us, it longs to remind us,” says Heather. “And without ritual, we foreclose creativity and shared open language about what is happening, and we dissociate.”

“I think our body longs to teach us, it longs to mother us, it longs to remind us.”

Also at Symposia 2016, Jenny McGrath (MACP, ‘15) talked about “Healing Trauma Through Movement,” sharing how dance had been an avenue of healing and growth in her own life, and how movement and dance can be used therapeutically to bring counseling and rehabilitation for trauma survivors. Jenny shares about her work in northern Uganda, researching the therapeutic power of movement in the wake of war and exploring how dance can help communicate emotional realities that are beyond language. “We are affected not just neurologically, but neuro-physiologically when we go through trauma. We are not just floating heads,” says Jenny. “So there needs to be some form of engagement with our bodies if we are truly to develop a sustainable model for people to recover from their trauma.”

At Symposia 2017 Jenny Wade (MACP, ’13), a therapist and founder of in Seattle, shared about “Finding Beauty in Embodied Resistance.” In this profound talk, Jenny starts with the disgust that so many people feel toward their bodies, and the million ways we are taught to believe that our bodies are not worth trusting. “I believe that bodies are good,” says Jenny. “They are good, and they are wise, and they are beautiful. […] But trauma, both collective and personal, separates us from the felt experience of our body. When we experience trauma, our body feels foreign. Our body doesn’t feel like it’s ours.”

(For more on this, we also deeply appreciated J. Knox Burnett’s (MACP, ’13) presentation, )

When we are more fully connected to our bodies, we are more able to attune to spiritual practices and soul care. This is much of the work that Lacy Clark Ellman (MA in Theology & Culture, ’12) fosters in her work as a spiritual director. In 2017, Lacy presented “Beyond Borders: Cultivating Awareness, Resilience, and Transformation through the Practice of Pilgrimage.” In 2017 she shared about the ancient art of pilgrimage and the archetypal human stories that have so much to reveal about the journey of separation, initiation, and return. “This adventure of the hero and journey of the pilgrim is built within each one of us,” says Lacy. “And claiming it as our own, we are aligning with our divine imprint as seekers of the sacred.”

(Kate Davis [Master of Divinity, ’15] also powerfully reflected on the transformative insights of ancient human stories in her Integrative Project presentation, )

Across cultures and generations, these categories of initiation, wilderness, and pilgrimage have been central to questions of what it means to be fully human—and yet for many of us, they feel so foreign today. That’s why we appreciated this Symposia 2016 presentation from Doug Wheeler (MA in Counseling, 1987), “Navigating the Masculine Journey with ‘Sherpas’ Nouwen, Jung, and Peck.” Doug reflects on the archetypes that help clarify the terrain and trajectory of human pilgrimage. “There is no entry fee, but it will cost you plenty to make this journey. Pack a lunch, lose your map, travel lightly.”

On May 31 we’ll gather to hear from students in our Master of Divinity and MA in Theology & Culture programs as they present on the projects that serve as a capstone of their time in graduate school. The Integrative Project Symposium is always an inspiring, grounding, and thought-provoking time. All are welcome!