If you鈥檝e ever worked in ministry or a helping profession鈥攐r any work that requires your full self鈥攜ou know this matters: the rate of burnout is too high, and the cost too steep, to not take seriously the need for resilience. We launched Resilient Leaders Project to help leaders and communities respond to that deep need in the midst of a changing church and fragmented culture.

Kate: 鈥淩esilient Leaders Project is about trying to come alongside leaders in their context to help them construct lives that support their good work, instead of feeling like their lives are at the cost of their work.鈥�

In reflecting on what drew them into this work, Kate and Laura Wade share about their histories with the Church and how they came to believe it could be a space that would welcome them fully and unequivocally, in all of their brokenness and trauma. Because it turns out that it鈥檚 impossible to talk meaningfully about resilience without also talking about trauma.

Kate: 鈥淭here鈥檚 a depth of experience that you must learn to narrate in your own life if you鈥檙e going to integrate the really hard pieces of your life. It鈥檚 not simply bouncing back to the shape that you were before something hard happened, it鈥檚 saying 鈥楬ow did this really difficult situation, this suffering that I went through, actually form me to be in some way more human, more compassionate, and therefore more divine?鈥欌��

鈥淭here鈥檚 a depth of experience that you must learn to narrate in your own life if you鈥檙e going to integrate the really hard pieces of your life.鈥�

Laura Wade: 鈥淩esilience, to me, is finding healing and freedom and voice in the midst of those harmful places, and being able to meet the Spirit and meet God there to be different, to be more of who we are created to be. That鈥檚 the linking of resilience and trauma. I don鈥檛 think you can have resilience without some level of trauma.鈥�

Shauna: 鈥淎nd maybe you can鈥檛 be a human and not have trauma.鈥�

As we gather to reflect together on the trauma of Christ鈥攖he violence, betrayal, death, and resurrection鈥攊n the Church we might also find space to reflect on our own trauma, to lean into a community of others who can help us find language and meaning for that which is beyond words. This is a beautiful hope, that reflecting on the wounds of Christ in community might help us heal from our own wounds, but it is also a risky, vulnerable hope鈥攐ne from which it is all too easy for many leaders to shy away. The rigorous demands and unspoken expectations of leadership often mean that leaders鈥攅specially in church, ministry, and nonprofit settings鈥攁re left feeling as if they cannot disclose experiences of trauma or uncertainty, and like there is not room for them to receive care.

Kate: 鈥淲ounded healer is language that we usually use, but we gloss over the wounded part, which means that we often have healed wounders in those roles.鈥�

鈥淲ounded healer is language that we usually use, but we gloss over the wounded part, which means that we often have healed wounders in those roles.鈥�

Toward the end of the conversation, Kate and Laura Wade share about their experience in the first full year of RLP, inviting leaders into intentional connection, thoughtful reflection, and new practices that create room for their full selves鈥攊ncluding their trauma, doubt, and brokenness鈥攖o be present in their work and relationship. This integrative work is a central part of building resilience, and it is a gift to journey with leaders as they step into that.

Kate: 鈥淢y hope for the Church is that God鈥檚 not done. And it might not look like the church that it looked like in our parents鈥� or grandparents鈥� ages, it might not be focused on Sunday morning worship, but I think God鈥檚 not done in gathering people in a certain type of way. I want to be part of making that happen, and I want to be part of helping resource the creative and courageous people who are stepping into this unknown territory.鈥�

Resources to Go Deeper

• You can learn more about the Resilient Leaders Project鈥攊ncluding our newsletter, upcoming events, and the application process for our next cohort鈥攁t theseattleschool.edu/rlp.
• Kate shares a poem by an anonymous survivor of rape, which reads in its entirety: 鈥淚 can鈥檛 forget what happened, but no one else remembers.鈥� When she was a student at 天美视频, Kate wrote this moving reflection about the installation and about church as a community that remembers and holds.
• Laura Wade recommends a book about integrating the feminine and masculine parts that live in each of us. The book is by Tami Lynn Kent.
• One of the practices Laura Wade mentions that she has returned to because of this work is running. You can read her reflection about how running helps her return to spiritual health in this blog.
• For more on resilience, you can watch Nikkita Oliver鈥檚 stunning talk from our 2018 Humanity Through Community gathering, and you can listen to Nikkita鈥檚 conversation with Shauna Gauthier from an earlier podcast episode.

The post Resilience, Trauma, and the Hope of the Church appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

That鈥檚 what we鈥檙e diving into on the blog this month: how to open ourselves to the nurture and care that is required to sustain our calling as fully embodied people committed to the movement of hope and healing. It might be worth pausing on that last sentence. What comes to mind when you hear the word nurture? Somewhere along the way, many of us have internalized an assumption that the need to be nurtured is something to be outgrown, something no longer experienced by people who are competent, mature, and capable of effecting change in the world.

We believe, though, that the deep need for nurture is a central part of the human experience, and it is essential to the art of growing in wisdom, empathy, and clarity of calling. As we lead, care for others, and respond to the needs around us, the reservoirs we draw from will run dry if we are not open to receiving care from God, ourselves, and each other鈥攗ltimately leaving us burned out in our work and cynical about the possibility of meaningful change.

We hope you will join us in this conversation as we hear from alumni, students, faculty, and staff about how their particular identities and stories shape their work in the world, and how they receive nurture and care along the way. May we remain curious about whatever resistance might emerge, about those places in us that might feel shame about our need for nurture, and may we continue learning to open ourselves鈥攊ndividually and collectively鈥攖o the care that fuels our formation and sparks creative, courageous work in the world.

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Since graduate students nearing the end of a term definitely know something of fatigue, we found a few after class and asked them about what distinguishes fatigue from day-to-day tiredness, and how they care for themselves in the midst of it all.

Huge thanks to MA in Counseling Psychology students Jonathan, Ellen, Jessie, and Elise for talking with us!

The post Students Reflect on Fatigue, Tiredness, and Self-care appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

In the face of systems that seek to divide, belittle, and harm certain people based on some aspect of their humanity, this affirmation is nothing less than an act of resistance. And resistance, like all prophetic work, requires a deep well from which we can draw. What inspires your resistance? How is your own humanity affirmed even as you鈥檙e working to affirm others? What spiritual formation practices might grow the depth and clarity of your work in the world?

We brought those questions to folks in our community and put together this list of recommendations. May these resources bring rest, fresh insight, renewed hope, and an emboldened sense that we are not alone as we work against de-humanizing systems.

鈥淚鈥檓 eager to go beyond theologies of suffering and survival to also examine the theologies of life, flourishing, strength, meaning-making, and #blackgirlmagic that stem from black women鈥檚 experiences and perspectives.鈥� 鈥揇r. Christena Cleveland

This is a stunning, revolutionary series Dr. Cleveland is facilitating during Lent, grounded in the conviction that 鈥減atriarchy and whiteness need to be exorcised from biblical interpretation.鈥� If you find that high Church rhythms feel too entwined with historically oppressive systems, we can鈥檛 recommend this series enough. You can , then become a patron to follow the rest.

Christena Cleveland鈥檚 work above feels so crucial because, in part, the dominant expressions have for too long been aligned with the patriarchal, white supremacist forces that undergird oppressive systems. In , two pastor-historians offer compelling historical accounts of the American Church鈥檚 role in harmful power structures, and Lisa Sharon Harper and Dr. Soong-Chan Rah then share vital theological reflections and words of confession and repentance. If human affirmation is an act of Christian resistance, then confession and repentance are at once social and spiritual practices. We鈥檙e grateful to this book for demonstrating that so powerfully.

At the heart of confession and repentance is the dynamic expression of lament. Lament is the declaration that this is not right, the grief that our embodiment of God鈥檚 image falls so short of the Christological affirmation of humanity. From the somber confession of Ash Wednesday to the anguish of Holy Saturday, lament is at the heart of Lent. This episode of , a project from Aaron Niequist and friends, is a guided journey of music, prayer, and scripture that creates space for lament to do its work.

We鈥檝e shared this one before, but we keep coming back to it. Many folks in our community resonate with the thought-provoking, contemplative art by Scott Erickson, and we particularly love the prayerbook he created with Justin McRoberts. If you’re looking to add some depth and beauty to the rhythms of your spiritual practice鈥攏ot just during Lent鈥攖his is a beautiful place to start.

A number of folks also recommended the from artist, author, and minister Jan Richardson. Each week, this blog features a reflection on a text from the lectionary, accompanied by a work of original art. We believe that integrating art with spiritual formation will deepen and energize our practice, and Jan鈥檚 work explores this beautifully.

For years, the work of Richard Rohr has challenged our assumptions, opening us to an image of Christ that is bigger, bolder, and more open than we ever imagined. is no different. Rohr guides us through a series of readings for the Lenten season (and beyond), encouraging us to grow into people who are more and more open to surprising, transformative encounters.

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My husband had had a partial knee replacement surgery. It was an awful experience for both of us, with complications and longer-than-expected target gains. Watching, caring, and waiting for his knee (and soul) to heal, I decided in some less-than-conscious part of myself that I never wanted to go through that kind of pain (his knee replacement came from many years of running and athletic wear and tear), so I quit running. In this forfeiture, what I failed to realize is that, for me, running had come to serve as a spiritual practice. As I was saying no to running, I was giving up on a way that I connect deeply to God, myself, and the space between.

In the busyness of my world鈥攋obs, kids, house, etc.鈥擨 can often lose connection to myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Running has been one way I could carve out time to be alone (quiet, still) and to connect body, soul, and spirit: this trinity of my being coming together with the triune God. Running had served as a time when I could pray, hear from God, and take time to challenge the ways I often hold myself back by choosing to believe in the impossibility (rather than the possibility) of certain things.

鈥淚n the busyness of my world I can often lose connection to myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.鈥�

Years prior, when I was running consistently, I remember noticing that I could never get past three miles logged in any given session. Everytime I would get close, I would stop running, or I would get sick. I seemed to circle this track for at least a year. Finally, as I was talking to my therapist about this supposed limitation, she asked, 鈥淲hat is it like to be in your body, to connect with your body in that way?鈥� In that moment, I knew I was being invited by God to challenge myself to connect my body to the energy within it in ways I simply hadn鈥檛 before: to put down the mental barrier I had believed true in regards to running. So in that very moment, I decided to sign up for my first half marathon.

By that time my husband had already completed a number of half marathons, so I asked him to help me get on a program, and I began to run. Since I had small kids at the time, I ran in a gym on a treadmill for most of the training. As I look back now, I have no idea how I handled that level of monotony. But on the day of the race, I was as ready as I was going to be. As I made it through the race and ran that last mile, I was deeply aware of the ways I had been holding myself back not just in running but in life, and a deep sense of joy set in as I accomplished something I had previously deemed impossible. Crossing the finish line, I was overwhelmed at the goodness that could come from stepping into my fears and listening to the invitation from God to run.

I believe spiritual health can come in all different shapes, colors, and forms. God reveals God鈥檚 self in all things: the smile of a child, the wag of a dog鈥檚 tail, the rising and setting of the sun, the movement of human bodies through time and space, the reading of a good poem, and much, much more. Maybe it鈥檚 only natural to limit our experience or view of God, if for no other reason than we get tired and we look for the ease of paring down the options to a short list of predictable alternatives. And maybe it鈥檚 also natural to need to return or to inject a sense of novelty into the perceived security that comes from having a certain behavioral repertoire. Sometimes we need to slow down and notice; other times (as was the case for me) we need to put on our running shoes and accelerate.

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Serving in local church ministry is one of my deepest joys in life. It鈥檚 also one of my deepest heartaches.

I think anyone who works with people in any personal way knows the deep joy and deep heartache that comes from knowing the stories of those people, and having your own story interact with theirs.

And yet, people are given to us pastors to love, to guide, to listen to, to challenge, and to remind them (and ourselves) that God is always inviting us into something deeper, something next. Our work is to cultivate the ability to pay attention, and to respond accordingly.

Pastoral work is hard. It鈥檚 painful. But the beauty of this work has begun to seep into my bones, and mark me in ways I鈥檓 sure I鈥檓 not yet fully aware of.

This work still takes much out of me, which is why I鈥檝e had to learn the hard way so often to take care of myself, and limit myself, as I live into this strange and wonderful vocation.

As I continue to grow and learn and make mistakes as a pastor, here鈥檚 a few things I’m learning that are saving my life. If you鈥檙e in pastoral ministry, or if you鈥檙e thinking about doing this work, I hope this helps.

Ten Thoughts on Sustainable Pastoral Ministry, from a Novice

1) God made you with limits, and your invitation is to honor those limits, whether they are physical, emotional, or family-based. To live out of your limitations is to honor how God created you.

2) Developing a regular rhythm of Sabbath (weekly for my family) will save your life. Sabbath isn鈥檛 about keeping rules, but acknowledging limits, and trusting that as you deliberately take time to be unproductive, God will continue to do the work that only God can do to make your life and ministry fruitful and productive.

鈥淭o live out of your limitations is to honor how God created you.鈥�

3) Your kids will only get one childhood, your spouse will only have one marriage with you. Arranging your life so that these relationships will thrive is what your ministry faithfulness needs to come out of, not be in spite of.

4) You are worth knowing, you are worth taking care of yourself, you are worth asking for the help that you need, because you are made in the image of God. You are worthy of love and belonging.

5) When you begin to live into these sorts of ideas, there will be people around you that might feel threatened, because they don鈥檛 live this way. Tread carefully, but trust that sometimes people need to have far less influence in your life than they do. God will always bring the people into your life that you will need to help you get to the next phase of what God is inviting you into.

6) You cannot do this work alone. You simply cannot. You need friends who will love you, who will listen and care, but who will tell you the truth. You need guides and elders who will give you relationship, who will mentor you and give you appropriate feedback. You need coaches and therapists and spiritual directors who will help you with your work, help you with your emotions and story-work, and who will continually invite you to consider where God is in the middle of your life. Building into these relationships in your life will help set the foundation by which you can begin to thrive.

7) There will always be people who don鈥檛 like you. There’s nothing you can do to avoid that. It鈥檚 up to you to determine how best to respond to these folks. You can ignore them. You can defend yourself against them. You can get in the mud and wrestle with them. You can passive-aggressively needle them. I鈥檝e done all of these things, and I鈥檓 never better off for having done them.

I鈥檝e learned from Bren猫 Brown that it鈥檚 good to hear from and learn from folks who are critical of you, but it鈥檚 not helpful for you to give everyone equal weight in your life with their words and ideas. If the critic isn鈥檛 in the arena with you, working to birth the thing you鈥檙e working to birth, their words don鈥檛 count as much. They may FEEL strongly, but if they’re not committed to the same dreams, the same goals, and the same future as you and your partners are committed to, then be kind, but pay little attention. Ask, 鈥淲hat is there in this for me to learn?鈥� and then continue doing your work.

8) Take your own spiritual formation as a child of God more seriously than you do anything else in your life and leadership. You are only as good as your deep connection to God. Your own growth, your own health, and your own formation will directly correlate to how you lead others into spiritual growth and health.

9) You are not simply growing an organization, you are creating the conditions where the lives of those whom God has entrusted to your care can begin to grow and change. Spiritual growth is a funny thing. It鈥檚 difficult to pin down. How does it work? How do we do it? Sometimes, I have no idea. Most of the time, I know it has to do with intention, quiet, solitude, silence, service, generosity, hospitality, study, prayer, and healthy relationships.

Take one thing at a time. This will take years, but do it anyway. You, and those around you, will be grateful for decades, even though most will never know all the work you鈥檝e put into becoming a healthier, more spiritually mature person.

10) In your pastoral work, it鈥檚 best to see yourself as a farmer. Of course, what I mean by this is a small-scale farmer growing a diversified crop plan, using mostly organic methods. These kinds of farmers know that they don鈥檛 grow anything, they only create the conditions whereby the seeds they put in the dirt can begin to grow.

Good farmers know they don鈥檛 grow melons or tomatoes, or raise pigs or chickens. Good farmers know they grow soil. They know the health of everything they do is directly connected to the health of the soil they鈥檙e working with. If the soil isn鈥檛 healthy, good farmers know that the fruit they harvest (if any) won鈥檛 be healthy either. Good farmers are dirt farmers.

And over time, while making daily investment into the care of their dirt, they plant seeds in the ground that will eventually begin to sprout. And as they care for these fledgling seedlings, they know that one day, months away, they will reap a harvest this is grace upon grace upon grace.

Pastors are farmers. We put the mess of life into the ground, believing that the impossible can happen. That the Maker will, through Mystery and Grace, take that mess and make it a rich compost, teeming with life and goodness that will, one day, produce so much life beyond itself.

Pastoral work is a mystery. Over time, as you add up all the meetings, the study, the prayer, the sermons, the leadership, the leading change, the invitations, the money management, the administration, the people鈥攕o many disparate things鈥攐ver time, as you do this work faithfully, God will begin to help this work take root in the soil all around you, in ways you couldn’t have planned for or expected. This work will certainly change lives. Your own life will change the most.

Peace to you on this journey toward a fuller spiritual transformation that will lead to a more sane and robust life in ministry.

May it be so.

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When I was a student at 天美视频, I took a class all about Sabbath. One of the assignments was to practice Sabbath in three ways: one with a friend, another with someone who is a bit foreign to the practice, and one in solitude.

My Sabbath with a friend was spent with my dear friend Katie. During that day we shared some of the best things we had in common鈥攚e watched David Whyte speak at the Search for Meaning Festival, perused bookstores to our heart鈥檚 content, ate lunch out, took a walk around the nearby lake, and sipped hot tea as we talked about life. Though we had lived together previously, this was the first day we had spent entirely together simply enjoying ourselves, and it opened us up to deeper relationship.

As for the Sabbath with someone foreign to the practice, I instantly knew my ideal companion (or victim, depending on just how hard it would be). My dad knows how to be productive more than anyone I know. Consequently this means that he rests less than anyone I know. Even his sleeping is done in a productive manner, so I don鈥檛 count it.

I knew a day without productivity for my dad was going to be a difficult one, so I brought my husband in for personal support. Ironically, though, I realized that ensuring that my dad had a Sabbath experience meant that I was not having one at all. And so, I too had to let go of my addiction to productivity, which in this case was a vision of a productive Sabbath experience for my dad. I know鈥攁n oxymoron, right? (The productive/Sabbath part, not the Sabbath/dad part, but also maybe just a bit.)

As it turns out, I ended up doing a lot of things with my dad that day that I hadn鈥檛 done in a long time, and even some things that we had never done at all. There were a few struggles on both ends, certainly, but we made it through. When we let him off the hook early around 5:00pm, I left feeling that it was a good and surprising experience. (No word yet on whether he鈥檚 attempted a Sabbath again.)

The final part of the assignment鈥攎y Sabbath in solitude鈥攖urned out to be one of my favorite days in Seattle. It was New Year鈥檚 Eve, and I began the morning traipsing through my favorite place in Seattle, Pike Place Market, and then lingered over coffee and a chocolate croissant at Le Pichet for nearly two hours as I journaled, reflecting over and celebrating the year gone by.

I then stopped into the Seattle Art Museum, sampled some salted caramels at Fran鈥檚 across the street (the absolute best), grabbed a slice of pizza at the Italian delicatessen, and took it home where I spent the afternoon reading magazines, dreaming about an upcoming trip abroad, and drinking tea. It was truly heavenly.

But I never would have had that experience without the boundaries of Sabbath.

Outside of the confines of Sabbath, productivity reigns, distractions beckon, and there is always at least one more thing I could get done. These are things to work on in their own right (perhaps a better word than 鈥渨ork鈥� would be more appropriate here), but Sabbath is an opportunity to intentionally pause for a while, say 鈥渁ll is good,鈥� and celebrate that goodness in the way our hearts know best.

鈥淪abbath is an opportunity to intentionally pause for a while, say 鈥榓ll is good,鈥� and celebrate goodness in the way our hearts know best.鈥�

Sabbath, of course, finds its roots in the seventh day of creation. It鈥檚 on the seventh day, we鈥檙e told, that God rested after all the work of creating was done. But in his book , Dan Allender emphasizes that God did not need rest on the seventh day; rather, God spent the time delighting in the newly created world.

Kim Thomas, who wrote Even God Rested, describes the Divine鈥檚 action on the seventh day鈥攁nd thus the model for Sabbath as well鈥攁s ceasing and feasting.

I love that.

Sabbath is a practice to pause and remember what was intended and is written on our hearts, what we search for as seekers of the sacred, and what is to come when our true selves are set free and we are fully united with God. It is a time to cease our everyday tasks and productivity鈥攖o cease even our sorrow or worrying鈥攁nd to feast on love, on life, and on the goodness of the Divine. It is a conscious creation of a time and space that is Sacred.

God emphasizes this by telling the Israelites to 鈥渒eep it holy鈥� when practicing Sabbath. To be 鈥渉oly鈥� is, of course, to be 鈥渟et apart.鈥� Dan continues in Sabbath to say this about the holy: 鈥淭he holy comes in a moment when we are captured by beauty, and a dance of delight swirls us beyond the moment to taste the expanse of eternity in, around, and before us.鈥�

This is what practicing Sabbath is all about鈥攃easing from our everyday and being 鈥渃aptured by beauty.鈥� It鈥檚 about feasting on our delights, our relationships, our blessings, and what is good. When we do this, we are able to 鈥渢aste the expanse of eternity,鈥� to touch a bit of heaven, and to more fully experience the sacred as we rest in the presence of God.

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Shauna: 鈥淚鈥檓 most compelled by Jeremy鈥檚 full-spectrum capacity to dive deep into heartache鈥攈is own and others鈥欌�攁nd to leap so high into all sorts of play, especially in his play with his own children.鈥�

Jeremy went to college to become a youth pastor, but a couple of years into school he realized that he had significant questions that were being answered in ways that felt disappointing and cheap. The environment seemed increasingly isolated and self-absorbed; it was all too easy to focus on obscure passages of Scripture or dense theological questions that felt removed from the day-to-day realities of the rest of the world.

Jeremy: 鈥淚t felt like many of the ways that we were answering questions of God further isolated us from the rest of the world.鈥�

So Jeremy pursued other work鈥擲tarbucks, bronze casting, a microbrewery. He found himself longing for something more, but he knew it wouldn鈥檛 look like the pastoral education he鈥檇 seen before. Around this time he was exposed to work coming out of 天美视频, and he was intrigued by its openness to the rest of the world, a willingness to learn about God in unexpected places. Jeremy had tried walking away from his faith, but 鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 quite shake it.鈥� He was drawn to 天美视频 as a place where he could learn and wrestle with truth without having to artificially surrender his questions.

Jeremy: 鈥淲hat has felt true of vocation, and even calling, is that somehow it鈥檚 felt like that has been written in the peaks and in the valleys of my story. Both the places where I have known of my goodness and been uniquely named and uniquely spoken into, and in the places where I鈥檝e been most harmed and violated. Somehow my calling aligns those two.鈥�

Shauna asks Jeremy what he has learned about vocation, calling, and sustainability, in the years since his time at 天美视频. The conversation also touches on what Jeremy鈥檚 work with parents has revealed about his own parenting, on what surprises and grounds him in his work, and on his heartbreak about the ways that men have used and abused power. The #MeToo, #ChurchToo, and #TimesUp movements have highlighted the need for his to keep pursuing his own growth and to help other men and young boys address their violent reactions to fragility and harm.

Jeremy: 鈥淰ocational sustainability has be wrapped up in who I am as a father as well, and as a husband.鈥�

Resources to Go Deeper

Jeremy shares that he鈥檚 had a 鈥渞enewed energy for reading鈥� lately. Here鈥檚 what he鈥檚 into these days:

by Leif Enger鈥攔ecommended years ago by VP of Student & Alumni Development Paul Steinke, based on Jeremy鈥檚 love for by David James Duncan.

by Christine Marietta, over which Jeremy has cried with clients who feel validated in new ways by Christine鈥檚 words.

by Dorothy Dinnerstein, a feminist psychoanalyst writing in the 鈥�70s.

by Daniel Keyes鈥攎ost people read this as kids, but a client recommended it to Jeremy to better understand where she鈥檚 coming from.

by Rene Girard鈥擩eremy heard about it in school and sometimes found himself using that language, so he decided to figure out what he meant by it.

For more from Jeremy, check out the video of his Symposia 2016 presentation, 鈥淧ractical Parenting: When Good Enough Is Good Enough, Even for the Trained Professional as Parent.鈥�

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My spouse walked in the door and sighed. He鈥檇 been at a meeting of our church鈥檚 leaders and he expressed his concern that a church staff member might be struggling. I instantly felt my chest tighten, constricting my breath. This anxiety had become a familiar feeling as my husband and I had taken on significant lay leadership in our church. We focus on staff care, and our congregation has experienced several years of major transitions. I felt like Nehemiah rebuilding the temple while under duress. Half of Nehemiah鈥檚 workers carried and placed the stones; the other half stood vigil with spears. I sensed I was trying to do both, with the weight of a stone in one hand and burden of upholding a spear in the other hand.

鈥淚 think we need a leadership sabbatical,鈥� I told my husband. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 carry this kind of weight anymore.鈥�

鈥淲ell,鈥� he responded kindly, 鈥淚 guess we are just going to have to find a different way to carry it.鈥�

In another role in my life, as the researcher on 天美视频鈥檚 Resilient Leaders Project, I conducted a survey of more than 100 Christian leaders to assess their current practices and needs. One of the most significant findings was that leaders who disengage from their ministry work on a daily basis reported a higher level of satisfaction in all three categories we measured: personal spiritual life, rest and renewal, and emotional support. This correlation makes sense considering that the time spent not working can be invested in relationships, in rest, and in having a spiritual life that is rooted not in your work but in your primary identity as the Beloved of God.

The ability to disengage with one鈥檚 ministry vocation is a key to resilience. In fact, our ability to stay in ministry over the long run may depend on our ability to walk away from it every day.

鈥淥ur ability to stay in ministry over the long run may depend on our ability to walk away from it every day.鈥�

But in spite of the dramatic positive effect of 鈥渨alking away,鈥� less than one third of our survey participants said they disengaged with their work daily. Thirty-nine percent of participants said they disengaged weekly, and 23 percent reported that they are able to disengage only monthly, quarterly, or annually. The remaining 7 percent of participants indicated that they do not often鈥攅ven annually鈥攆ully disengage from their work.

This consuming engagement is understandable: vocation brings meaning to our lives, and our responsibilities are real. Altruism is a characteristic of many who choose ministry, with martyrdom a consistent temptation. Ministry is full of dual relationships: how do you define when you are giving or receiving care as a leader and when you are giving or receiving care as a friend? How do you not talk about the work when the work is one of the main things you have in common?

Daily disengagement is not just the absence of mental or physical work; it鈥檚 a willing emotional detachment from the perceived weight of leadership. It鈥檚 collaboratively setting boundaries in relationships and in our souls. It is helpful to leave the building, stop checking email at home, and have separate work and personal phones. But you have not truly disengaged if you are writing a sermon in the shower, replaying an interaction over and over in your mind, or constricting your breath from the stress of how you carry your vocation.

Developing rituals or positive habits can help us disengage emotionally and physically. A former ministry colleague who does intercessory prayer carries a crucifix in her pocket. When she has finished praying for an individual, she fingers her crucifix as a way of symbolizing that she is transferring to Jesus the weight of the suffering while also acknowledging the limits of her own control over situations. Jes Kast, a minister in the United Church of Christ, goes to the gym after work; she says that releasing the conversations and concerns of ministry in a physical way allows her to return home with a greater peace in her body.

The failure to disengage is an idolatry of sorts: we make a God of ourselves when we try to carry ministry like Atlas carries the sky. (In Greek mythology, Zeus punished Atlas by forcing him to hold up the sky鈥攁lso called the heavens鈥攆or eternity.) For me, releasing this idolatrous burden means challenging my self-talk that says, 鈥淲ithout me, the sky will fall. Without me, this ministry will fall apart.鈥� Releasing this burden means remembering that this church is God鈥檚, and God is free to do with it whatever God pleases.

鈥淭he failure to disengage is an idolatry of sorts: we make a God of ourselves when we try to carry ministry like Atlas carries the sky.鈥�

God鈥檚 work does not have a one-to-one correspondence to our efforts. God鈥檚 work is much more mysterious and magical than we often notice. In the parables of Jesus, growth in the kingdom of God is an unfathomable, organic process. We do not know how it happens, only that it does.

[Jesus] also said, 鈥淭his is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain鈥攆irst the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.鈥� Mark 4:26-29 (NIV)

The kingdom grows while we sleep; our daily disengagement does not disrail the work of God. In truth, it is the opposite: God offers us this disengaged rest as a gift of love.

鈥淚t鈥檚 useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don鈥檛 you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?鈥� Psalm 127:2 (MSG)

One practice I鈥檝e developed to help me disengage is having clarifying conversations with my friends about when we will and will not discuss ministry. I also don鈥檛 do chores after 9:00pm鈥攁 practice that was crucial to my resilience when my kids were little. A habit that helps me transition to resting brain is to cuddle up to my spouse and watch a show on Netflix. As a person who has a hard time disengaging mentally, I need my mind engaged in a story that is not my own. The nearness of my spouse reminds me to breathe.

Though our church is rebuilding our figurative temple, the community we are building is God鈥檚. If I鈥檓 going to be able to see this new work of God through to its completion, I鈥檓 going to have to let God carry the weight of our faith community. God has called me to spend my days building or protecting鈥攍ifting the stones or holding the spear, but not both at the same time. Yet God has equally called me to disengage in the evenings, to walk away, to let our magical and mysterious God grow the kingdom while I rest.

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When the house is quiet, the world settled down, my creative mind comes alive and speaks its own language with clarity. Sometimes she speaks late into the night. I am a born and bred night owl, which is to say that I am not a morning person. As a writer, artist, and thinker my ritual keeping of notebooks are my commitment to attend to the world around me and the world within me. This ritual of gathering, at all the muse鈥檚 hours, provides the raw material for the art. It wasn鈥檛 until recently that I turned to my beloved tools of response and ritual to engage my own ambivalence around waking.

We tend to think of rituals as solemn ceremonies, but as human beings our lives are comprised of a modest web of repetition and rhythm. Our words and actions take us places and habitually form the lives we lead. James K. A. Smith in his book, You Are What You Love suggests that as liturgical creatures, our rituals reveal the embodied stories of who we are and they work on our imagination in an aesthetic register. By connecting to the stories we carry, we sense the particular vision of flourishing that governs our being-in-the-world. In other words, what I do repeatedly puts me in touch with what I attend to and thus love.

When I contemplate my own definitions of flourishing and purpose I am haunted by the words of the philosopher S酶ren Kierkegaard. He cautions that, 鈥渟o many live out their lives in quiet lostness; they outlive themselves, not in the sense that life鈥檚 content successively unfolds and is now possessed in the unfolding, but they live, as it were, away from themselves and vanish like shadows.鈥� One of the treasures of inhabiting my story through my education at 天美视频 and my artistic rituals is that I am constantly figuring out how to remain close to my life. My spiritual tradition informs my sense of flourishing by suggesting that we each have capacity to respond and are thus formed by all our choosing. At their best, rituals, liturgies and practices equip us to attend and participate in that unfolding. Personally, I want to be able to say, as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke once said in his Book of Hours,

摆鈥
I want to unfold.
I don鈥檛 want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
and I want my grasp of things to be
true before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the wildest storm of all.

The intent of my rituals is to remain close to myself and my own unfolding. To import this sense of liturgical formation into a new practice of waking, I fashioned some simple meditative words to locate and stay close to my life as I begin each new day. Before my feet touch the ground, before I brace myself to listen to the news, before I reach for my smartphone, I attempt to reach for these words:

WAKING RITUAL

1. Find Your Breath:
Locate both your inhale and your exhale, for you will need them in equal measure. Breathe deeply.

2. Find Your Body:
Wake your senses. Smell. Touch. Hearing. Taste. Sight. Sense your body and yourself alive within and because of its existence. Thank it for translating the world to you.

3. Find Your Place:
Locate yourself in your room, dwelling, community, city, environment, time, etc. moving in concentrically widening circles of tribe and belonging.

4. Find Your Purpose:
Who are you becoming and what are you going to do today that contributes to why you are here?

5. Find Your God:
Give thanks for everything that woke this morning- breath, body, place, purpose, your beloveds. Pray that your life force will join the work of the Spirit. Bless something in you, so that you may be a blessing to others. Bless something in your beloveds and ask for their protection and their freedom. Ask for something on behalf of the world.

Say amen.
Say, 鈥渕ay it be so,鈥� like it will demand something of you.
Let it send you up out of bed and into the world.

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