鈥淚 will always be studying and knowing and growing because God is so much beyond my own intellect. This is the place where our knowing can expand beyond the small ways that maybe we have been taught. In order for people to step into healing, we need a renewed imagination that steps beyond what we鈥檝e known before.鈥� Dr. Chelle Stearns

Students at 天美视频 learn to encounter and sit with stories鈥攊ncluding their own. How we were formed, our way of being in the world, and our relationship to God and neighbor all have a profound impact on who we are and who we will become. Understanding how these areas intersect is critical to a student鈥檚 formation as a therapist, counselor, pastor, leader, or artist.聽

Here, Dr. Chelle Stearns and counseling psychology students reflect on their own journeys through the program and how they鈥檝e been transformed at this intersection of theology and psychology along the way. Learn more about our graduate programs including our Master of Theology & Culture and our Master of Counseling Psychology.

The post Transformation at the Intersection of Theology and Psychology appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

No new news and nothing notable to think on beyond your song, Mary. The angel Gabriel visited you to announce a birth and I am sure you could have handled any announcement, but it wasn鈥檛 any announcement, and it would require you to walk in love and not fear.

I see fear everywhere, Mary. I see it on the faces of my neighbors, the political poster boards I drive by, the TV news headlines, my coworkers who face racism and classism, clients struggling to be free of pimps, and undisguised violence. If I focus here for too long, I forget you sang.

I don鈥檛 have a song this morning. The leftover night-lights of Seattle glitter. A future clear sky is lit by a pre-wakening sun in red, orange, and pink tones against the darkness still covering our Northwest morning. There are rows of vinyl bench seats covered in dirt from early morning commuters. Faces look down at books, screens, or the floor. People make subtle efforts to avoid the gaze of one another on the 6:20 a.m. ferry from Bainbridge Island to Seattle.

An hour earlier I was inside my frigid home, beneath warm covers, next to the regular breathing my husband of 17 years. We lay in silence. I felt hot tears spring to my eyes at the thought of leaving his presence and commencing the normal Monday routine. His breathing grumbles in protest of our coming separation. Supposedly, we are used to my graduate school routine. I am not. Sure, I look forward to classes, enjoy clients, and the adrenaline of the unknown; however, I don鈥檛 look forward to breaking this communion on Monday mornings.

So, instead of rising with the first round of alarm beeps, I lie still, suspending myself somewhere between his breathing and rising from bed.

Mary, How did you glorify a Lord who would put you in line to lose the most precious gift a mother could have 鈥� to use your first pregnancy to be something you would watch come to be a magnet of hate, terror, fear, and war-mongering? I scream as no one can hear me. I yell at systems contrived to keep some out and some in. Power鈥檚 greedy appetite does not hide in pretense, it does not need to.

I heard you say;
鈥淥h, how my soul praises the Lord.
47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
49 For the Mighty One is holy,
and he has done great things for me.
50 He shows mercy from generation to generation
to all who fear him.鈥�
(Luke 1:47-50)

And, you were chosen. You were humble. You said yes. You woke that morning and needed to be with someone, and so you went. You sang sweet tones of hope to your cousin, Elizabeth. You knew fear lurked at your door, with the political, social, religious and fledgling violence around you 鈥� someone needed to be willing to push back the darkness. You didn鈥檛 push it back because anyone doubted you. No, Mary, I see your belief, casting out fear, through the song and warrior resistance to every doubter who would soon come your way.

You spoke truth to your cousin 鈥� to the heavens 鈥� a truth that lingers in 2019.

I remember who and what lives inside of me.

鈥淛esus, Jesus, you make the darkness tremble. Jesus, you silence fear鈥esus, you make the darkness tremble鈥our name is alive, forever lifted high鈥�. your name cannot be overcome鈥�.鈥�

The Seattle skyline cannot overcome the bold beauty of majestic mountains and red skies on any winter morning, and especially not this one. Red and orange tones deepen behind the mountains announcing hope and proclaiming freedom. Beauty resonates in brilliance this morning, pushing back the cranes and furious construction continuing to shape the financial future of many on this early ferry. So, Mary, I find my song between brokenness and beauty, in the margins, in the pain. Your song hovers over deep waters, echoes in the trees, lifting my heart, increasing the anticipation of your son鈥檚 return.

The post Mary’s Song Overcomes appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

What brought you to 天美视频?

Back in 1999, I went to a . I can remember sitting in this living room with nine other terrified women and I can remember talking about the story of the prodigal son. Hearing this story about this God who would defy cultural norms, lift up his gown, who would bear shame in order to pursue me鈥擨 just couldn’t imagine there could be a God so good. I was a new Christian at that time and so during that Recovery Week, there was some talk about this school Dan was building. It seemed like an impossibility for me because I didn鈥檛 finish my bachelor鈥檚 degree and we lived in Washington DC and we had four sons. But in 2003, I went back to school and completed a degree with a focus on resilience and at the same time, I applied to become a non-matriculated student at 天美视频 (which was then Mars Hill Graduate School). In 2007, I had completed my undergrad and by then had gotten accepted at MHGS as a student. We sold the family homestead in Washington DC, bought an RV, traveled across the country, and entered the school.

When you came to 天美视频, why did you decide to go through both the Master of Arts in Christian Studies and Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology programs?

Because I came in as a non-matriculated student, I had already taken some theology classes. So I already had some credit hours when I was coming in and I knew yes, I鈥檓 interested in the mind and in psychology, but I鈥檓 fervent with faith. Faith is a big thing for me. I didn鈥檛 become a believer until I was 37. I鈥檇 had a smattering of church experiences as a kid: Catholic, synagogue, unitarianism, and the Calvary Orthodox Presbyterian Church. I really had no clue. I knew the name 鈥楪od,鈥� but didn鈥檛 have any other awareness until I became a believer So, coming into the school I still had that hunger. I wanted to know more.

What did you hope you would be able to do following graduation?

Throughout the program, I felt I was growing. I really couldn鈥檛 understand or grasp what was after. It was almost like coming to MHGS was a dream come true. So, I couldn鈥檛 really make the shift to after. Where I started was square one of moving towards licensure. Did I have in mind to have a practice of my own, which I did for a short time, did I have anywhere in my mind working with women who were recovering from sexual trafficking? No. I don鈥檛 want it to sound cliche but it was a lot of prayer and staying connected to mentors and professors who had really impacted my life.

Tell us about the context where you serve now.

My main role is at The Well House where I am Director of Trauma Therapy and most recently a director of a trauma center we just created. The women come in or are recovered from referrals, from homeland security, local law enforcement, the streets, some are referred from other programs in the country, and some have come outside of the country. There鈥檚 no cookie-cutter way or here鈥檚 how you do this. I sit I listen to stories like Criminal Minds and Law & Order SVU鈥攖hey鈥檝e survived torture, not just trauma.

The work is really attuning with the women when they come in. When they come in they are highly traumatized and don鈥檛 trust anyone. Things like attunement, affect regulation, slowing down our words, our movements, explaining what we鈥檙e doing. The trauma center can hold two residents right now and I don鈥檛 believe there is another residential program in the country that has this high level of care for when they first arrive.

The most amazing thing we鈥檙e beginning to see is they鈥檙e staying longer. The women are terrified, so getting them to stay in one place 鈥攊t鈥檚 a hurdle to try and get them to stay. Now we鈥檙e finding that they鈥檙e staying. They can stay in the Trauma Center for two weeks and my vision is to build a foundation for them that helps them get back into their bodies. Help them to feel more stable. It鈥檚 all about choice, all about empowering them so they can see they have a choice. Then they move to an immediate shelter from the trauma center and that鈥檚 where I鈥檓 seeing they鈥檙e wanting to read, they鈥檙e reading Walter Bruggeman, John Elderidge, and . Quite a few of them now have read through the Healing Path and been moved by that. They鈥檙e going back into some of their earlier memories, so it鈥檚 not just what happened with my pimp, but earlier trauma. They鈥檙e able to get there and they鈥檙e not running! For me, for our staff, it鈥檚 like a taste of eternity, getting to sit and watch this transformation happen.

What does flourishing and service to God and neighbor look like in your life?

is not a word I鈥檝e thought a lot about. I鈥檝e used the word thrive, so flourish I think is similar where it鈥檚 not just healing. I think the ladies come in and I tell them you鈥檙e learning how to walk. In my mind, though, walking is not good. My bar is higher鈥擨 want to see them soar. It鈥檚 with these women, and it鈥檚 also with the staff. I鈥檓 working with staff at a nonprofit organization and we鈥檙e doing hard work. There鈥檚 secondary PTSD, burnout, and compassion fatigue. What does that look like to offer some inviting words of kindness and helps them to flourish as well?

Who are the people that support your flourishing, and what practices do you engage that help you flourish?

One of my residents a couple of years ago said to me, 鈥淪o Ms. Corinne, I’ve heard that a lot of therapists have their own therapists. Do you have your own?鈥� And it stopped me. I said, 鈥淯h-huh, I do.鈥� At the time I felt a little awkward, but now I鈥檝e gotten more comfortable to say a good therapist has her own therapist, engages in consultation, and is doing good training and finding places to continue to grow. People that have spoken into my life are and a number of other colleagues I consult with in Seattle.

Before coming to the school, I learned about control, and by God, I was going to be in control and make sure things went ok. That was one part of me. The other part was always living with dread. Getting counseling, good therapy, the Recovery week, and getting to work with Dan helped. Going through 天美视频 stretched me. It was hard work going through this school, but I don鈥檛 regret a moment of it. We鈥檙e doing something different here.

It wasn鈥檛 until I started doing the work with these women that I鈥檝e felt that this is my fit. Often the women will say, 鈥淐orinne why are you doing this work?鈥� My response to them is 鈥淲ell, I have a story too.鈥� I don鈥檛 go any further and they don鈥檛 ask. But these are words that I鈥檝e been thinking a lot about recently: I know what it鈥檚 like to be bought. I experienced that as a kid and as a young 20-something. I do know enough, so I鈥檓 doing this work and it鈥檚 such a fit. This is where I need to be for now. I鈥檓 growing into my sense of who I am. I continue my own therapy. And my faith continues to grow deeper into who this God is. So that prodigal son story, I can share that with the residents. I can pass it on and pay it forward, the gift that I received at that Recovery Week in 1999.

Learn more about our MA in Theology & Culture program.

Learn more about our MA in Counseling Psychology program.

The post Alumni Spotlight: An Interview with Corinne Vance appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

Abby: 鈥淪o many of the people I interact with are desperate for the symptoms to go away鈥搕hat鈥檚 why they come to therapy. There is a complexity and a depth, and even an honor and richness that we can offer with [saying] your whole self is telling us something. My gut has been one of the primary ways for me to listen to my own trauma or my own wounding.鈥�

Abby: 鈥淚 think that鈥檚 what I鈥檓 most excited about with the concentration: honing in on more of what it means to be with someone whose mind, body, soul, emotions have been hijacked.鈥�

Derek: 鈥淭his is challenging work. It feels like not just individual healing, but cultural healing. We seem to have not known how wounded we were even though we knew on some level we were deeply wounded. To come to reckon with that wounding and then to come with both strategies, ways of holding, and spiritual ways of being to bring some healing as well as learning feels very important at this moment鈥�

As Derek and Abby discuss the Concentration in Trauma and Abuse, they step into what most excites them about this new offering and what their learning in the play and work of this profession

Abby: 鈥淚鈥檓 really excited to see how I get to marry the Allender Theory with EMDR 鈥�

Derek: 鈥淥ne of the things I鈥檓 excited about with the concentration is us raising the question that we kind of already know. Is this important? Yes. Is this something we have to engage? Yes. I deeply appreciate the sense of calling from you personally as well as The Allender Center corporately for stepping into this.鈥�

Abby: 鈥淚 could geek out for hours on neuroscience, the vagus system, our gut, how trauma is stored in our bodies, what is dissociation. I tell this students in Practicum III, 鈥榊ou have no excuse to be bored in this profession. There are so many avenues that it can take.鈥欌��

Resources to Go Deeper

• You can follow the what The Allender Center is up to at
• Abby mentions the memoir by Truddi Chase, , which follows her journey with dissociative identity disorder from abuse to recovery.
• Abby and Derek discuss her involvement with developing our new Concentration in Trauma and Abuse here at 天美视频. You can learn more about the program and application process on our website.
• In their discussion about the prolific presence of abuse, Abby recalls hearing the news breaking in 2009 about the .
• Derek and Abby talk about collective trauma, where stories are often held in our collective bodies, and Abby mentions that she鈥檚 been reading a book by Resmaa Menakem titled,

The post Hope in Trauma with Abby Wong-Heffter appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

When Heather received her cancer diagnosis, she knew this was not a road that she could walk alone. So, somewhat on a whim, she got a Wonder Woman costume to match her daughter鈥檚 Halloween costume, and she wore it to her first day of chemotherapy. A friend, Bridget Beth Collins ( on Instagram), created a plant-based portrait of Wonder Woman for Heather, and #chemowonderwoman was born.

Soon, Heather鈥檚 friends and family were spreading the word and wearing Wonder Woman shirts in support, along with teachers from her kids鈥� school and strangers from around the country鈥擧eather shares in particular about a grandmother in Ohio who prays for Heather every day even though they have never met. Even Gal Gadot, star of the hit Wonder Woman film, for Heather.

鈥淚 just felt really carried, I felt really held by hundreds of people I鈥檝e never met.鈥�

Heather tells Shauna that while she was grateful her journey could inspire and encourage so many people, she also launched out of her own need for support. 鈥淚 need people alongside of me, to cheer for me, to be with me in this,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 do this alone. I can鈥檛 do this even with just my small family tribe. I really need to, in some ways, open myself up to receive more help. I need connection and care.鈥� In that spirit, her friends told her, 鈥淵ou鈥檝e got this. We鈥檝e got you.鈥� It鈥檚 a truth that flies in the face of our cultural 鈥減ull yourself up by your bootstraps鈥� mentality: We need each other.

Shauna: 鈥淵ou allowed us all to experience something of your beauty in the midst of this seemingly daunting race鈥攖he way that you鈥檙e able to go after the experience of suffering with such play is profound to me.鈥�

Shauna shares that she can feel joy in her body, almost to an unfamiliar degree, when she鈥檚 with Heather, when she witnesses Heather鈥檚 鈥渃ome with me鈥� posture that is vulnerable, courageous, and infectious. Heather reflects on the intentional choice to hold onto her hope in beauty and goodness, even in the midst of darkness鈥攏ot in denial of the darkness, but in defiance of it. She shares how that posture is informed by the world around her, including the beautifully stubborn life in her garden, and by her eschatological hope in a new heaven and new earth.

Heather: 鈥淥ur body wants to heal. I really, really believe that, even more strongly after all this treatment than I did before. I talk about that as a gardener too: the plants are on your side, they want to live.鈥�

Shauna: 鈥淚 feel like the hope isn鈥檛 just optimism. It鈥檚 rooted in your theological framework, but it鈥檚 also rooted in your trust of creation鈥攖he plants want to grow, your body wants to heal. There鈥檚 this sort of rooted hope and trust in the evidence of life always moving toward goodness or growth or healing or wholeness.鈥�

Heather: 鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 mean that I believe with an optimism that every single story ends in healing and being alive here until you鈥檙e 95. That鈥檚 what I want my story to be, and I want that for everyone, and yet also knowing that we don鈥檛 have a guarantee of that. But we do have a guarantee that God is good, and that he has created us, and he has made us for more than we realize.鈥�

Heather shares how, at the time of this recording, there was no longer any evidence of cancer in her body. The journey of healing now offered a new challenge: The sprint for survival was over, and now she was facing the marathon of the rest of her life鈥攖he hard work of emotional healing after being so close to the experience of human fragility and finitude.

鈥淚鈥檓 going to have to suffer through being faithful here on this broken and beautiful earth.鈥�

Heather: 鈥淭hat鈥檚 what it means to be vulnerable. This is what it means to be human. I鈥檓 going to sit with that, and I鈥檓 going to accept that God, in all his goodness, is with me in the middle of the vulnerability, in the middle of when it鈥檚 scary, in the middle of when you feel blindsided by something.鈥�

Resources to Go Deeper

• You can follow the next chapters of Heather鈥檚 journey on Instagram 鈥攌eep an eye on , too!
• Shauna mentions that this conversation reminds her of the work of writer Annie Dillard. For a hauntingly beautiful example of Dillard鈥檚 writing about how the chaos of nature confronts us with the deepest parts of ourselves, check out her 1982 essay
• Parts of this conversation bring to mind the work of artist Makoto Fujimura, who wrestles with the role of beauty in the wake of tragedy and destruction. We鈥檇 especially recommend his inspired by Shusaku Endo鈥檚 book of the same name, and his , which 鈥渞eflects my journey with T.S. Eliot, and Dante, to recover my imaginative vision during the aftermath of 9/11/2001, living in ground zero, New York City.鈥�
• At the end of this episode, Kate Fontana, a Master of Divinity student, shares her poem 鈥淎n Imbolc Call.鈥� This poem is part of the latest issue of LIT, a student-run literary magazine that gets published here at 天美视频. You can read the full issue at .

The post Cultivating Hope with #ChemoWonderWoman Heather Abbott appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

I breathed myself to life, and so can you. My own recovery from the trauma of sexual repression drew me towards the healing medicine of yoga. I am a psychotherapist and a yoga teacher. My passion, obsession, and saving grace is embodiment鈥攖he experience of inhabiting the home of your body. Social forces and generational/personal trauma split the psyche into compartmentalization and dissociation, which inhibit us from fully inhabiting our own skin. I came into this work by following the golden thread of aliveness that vibrated inside of me whenever I stepped towards an act of embodiment.

My journey towards my profession and passion began by confronting my own pain of living in a deadened body.

鈥淢y journey towards my profession and passion began by confronting my own pain of living in a deadened body.鈥�

As a girl I was steeped in an evangelical church that was emotionally and sexually repressed. I was taught to dissociate from my emotion and sexuality. Eager to perform for my community, I was one of the 鈥榞ood鈥� ones. My dissociative abilities grew stronger as they were reinforced and praised. I swallowed my emotions and wore my pledge of virginity until marriage like a badge of honor. I committed to these ideas with resolve, to the point of receiving a purity tattoo鈥攁 dove on my hip that I wouldn鈥檛 allow anyone to see until my wedding night.

As a child I was tirelessly praised for my goodness, my ability to follow all of the rules set before me. The only price I had to pay for this endless stream of praise was my unwavering compliance with the group norms of emotional and sexual repression. As long as I agreed that the impulses of my body were wrong and should be ignored at all costs, I was given power, respect, and trust from a group of people I deeply respected.

As a 3 on the Enneagram, 鈥渢he performer,鈥� my disposition lends me towards being preoccupied with how others see me. 鈥楪ood鈥� became my identity, and my value was centered around how well I could perform to the expectations of those in authority around me. My obsession with blamelessness made me feel afraid to consider my own right to connection and desire.

It is painful to realize I was brainwashed out of connecting to my own sensuality. Over and over again I kissed my college boyfriend (who is now my incredible, gracious husband) while willing myself outside of my body and interrupting our connection if we got 鈥榯oo close.鈥� For years. For five years. That is too many years of not surrendering to the wisdom of our bodies. Our super power, being deeply present with each other, was shadowed by shame and secrecy. By the time we decided we had waited long enough to have sex, I had retreated so far from the felt experience of my body that I didn鈥檛 know how to enjoy it.

Dissociation is the psychological process of blocking out what an individual considers to be harmful. What is defined as 鈥榟armful鈥� within an individual is often the parts of self that may inhibit a sense of belonging to a particular community. I was taught that my body was bad and not to be trusted, so I spent the vast majority of my life ignoring what it was saying to me out of an ethical duty to be 鈥榞ood.鈥� I鈥檓 not the only one. The bodies of countless people growing up within Evangelical communities have been affected by the shameful rhetoric of purity culture.

The trauma of neglecting and shaming my body during vital years of sexual development caused a severe split between my mind and my body. We don鈥檛 learn how to be in our bodies unless we are taught how to follow sensation. In order to keep my purity pledge, I did everything in my power to sever myself from sensation, and in the process inadvertently sent the message to my brain that connection to my body was not to be trusted. My evil body tempted me into sexual sin鈥攁n age-old fable more concerned with power than with sex.

Yoga was the first place I learned how to inhabit my body intimately, in a way that wasn鈥檛 overtly sexual. Yoga was a neutral environment I could enter to learn how to de-thaw my body, without having to hold the emotional complexity of sexual shame that would often come up during sex. It has been through my own yoga practice that I鈥檝e learned that there is ancient medicine in using breath and movement in order to bring bodies back to life. What has historically been my biggest weakness is turning into my biggest strength because my pain forced me to look so closely at my body.

鈥淭here is ancient medicine in using breath and movement in order to bring bodies back to life.鈥�

While I was still dry humping Ben in church parking lots (#wheatonlyfe) in 2006, I attended a 鈥榮tretching and breathing鈥� class (yoga, in disguise) that changed my life. My body, which I had spent so much time trying to separate from and control, was now being gently paid attention to. I learned how to use movement as prayer, and for the first time I began to see how being with my body was a worshipful experience. It made my heart burst wide open to pay attention to myself in this way. Each time I laid in savasana, the final resting pose at the end of a yoga class, I came into direct contact with the weirdness and goodness of my body, the pure delight of feeling my own aliveness. These magical experiences in my body drew me to enroll in a yoga teacher training the summer before I started class at 天美视频. Immersed in the world of body wisdom I began, piece by piece, to land into a body I wasn鈥檛 fully aware I had disowned.

After I graduated, I spent four years working at , a local eating disorder clinic that was my therapeutic boot camp. Working with clients with eating disorders is a minefield of body hatred and dissociation, and I needed to learn quickly how to help my clients tolerate being in bodies that felt deeply unsafe to inhabit. I voraciously read books on embodiment and somatic healing from trauma, and I realized as I read that I needed to heal myself. The deeper I dove into healing my relationship with my body, the more I could teach my students how to find islands of safety within their own skin.

Dissociation is a form of trauma that leaves the body frozen, numb, and unresponsive. When trauma and neglect happen, we need to vacate. It is a sweet gift that the body doesn鈥檛 allow us to come into full contact with the enormity of our pain when we aren鈥檛 safe enough to feel it. I see the body as a manifestation of the unconscious mind, and when we work explicitly with the physical body, we grow awareness to the most hidden parts of our psyche. Yoga is a way to slowly reintroduce ourselves to the disowned parts of ourselves. Using the tools of breath and focused awareness, we can gradually thaw the frozen, clenched parts of our bodies. Now in my private practice, I鈥檓 teaching my clients and yoga students how to reclaim the uncharted waters of their own bodies using meditation, yoga, and breathing practices.

It wasn鈥檛 until I began connecting to my body that I realized how deeply disconnected I had been my entire life. Even now, after spending the last decade working to integrate the experiences of my body, I鈥檓 more aware than ever about how much I still don鈥檛 know about this earth suit of mine. It is endlessly mysterious and mystical to discover the maps of intelligence that are encoded into our bodies. I鈥檒l never arrive at a perfectly embodied or integrated place, but I have breathed myself into a new body. A more fluid, open, welcoming, and grounded body. A body that knows how to lean into care because of all those times she leaned into the earth in savasana and felt held.

The post Breathing Myself to Life: How Story Informs My Vocation appeared first on 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology.

If you鈥檝e ever worked in ministry or a helping profession鈥攐r any work that requires your full self鈥攜ou know this matters: the rate of burnout is too high, and the cost too steep, to not take seriously the need for resilience. We launched Resilient Leaders Project to help leaders and communities respond to that deep need in the midst of a changing church and fragmented culture.

Kate: 鈥淩esilient Leaders Project is about trying to come alongside leaders in their context to help them construct lives that support their good work, instead of feeling like their lives are at the cost of their work.鈥�

In reflecting on what drew them into this work, Kate and Laura Wade share about their histories with the Church and how they came to believe it could be a space that would welcome them fully and unequivocally, in all of their brokenness and trauma. Because it turns out that it鈥檚 impossible to talk meaningfully about resilience without also talking about trauma.

Kate: 鈥淭here鈥檚 a depth of experience that you must learn to narrate in your own life if you鈥檙e going to integrate the really hard pieces of your life. It鈥檚 not simply bouncing back to the shape that you were before something hard happened, it鈥檚 saying 鈥楬ow did this really difficult situation, this suffering that I went through, actually form me to be in some way more human, more compassionate, and therefore more divine?鈥欌��

鈥淭here鈥檚 a depth of experience that you must learn to narrate in your own life if you鈥檙e going to integrate the really hard pieces of your life.鈥�

Laura Wade: 鈥淩esilience, to me, is finding healing and freedom and voice in the midst of those harmful places, and being able to meet the Spirit and meet God there to be different, to be more of who we are created to be. That鈥檚 the linking of resilience and trauma. I don鈥檛 think you can have resilience without some level of trauma.鈥�

Shauna: 鈥淎nd maybe you can鈥檛 be a human and not have trauma.鈥�

As we gather to reflect together on the trauma of Christ鈥攖he violence, betrayal, death, and resurrection鈥攊n the Church we might also find space to reflect on our own trauma, to lean into a community of others who can help us find language and meaning for that which is beyond words. This is a beautiful hope, that reflecting on the wounds of Christ in community might help us heal from our own wounds, but it is also a risky, vulnerable hope鈥攐ne from which it is all too easy for many leaders to shy away. The rigorous demands and unspoken expectations of leadership often mean that leaders鈥攅specially in church, ministry, and nonprofit settings鈥攁re left feeling as if they cannot disclose experiences of trauma or uncertainty, and like there is not room for them to receive care.

Kate: 鈥淲ounded healer is language that we usually use, but we gloss over the wounded part, which means that we often have healed wounders in those roles.鈥�

鈥淲ounded healer is language that we usually use, but we gloss over the wounded part, which means that we often have healed wounders in those roles.鈥�

Toward the end of the conversation, Kate and Laura Wade share about their experience in the first full year of RLP, inviting leaders into intentional connection, thoughtful reflection, and new practices that create room for their full selves鈥攊ncluding their trauma, doubt, and brokenness鈥攖o be present in their work and relationship. This integrative work is a central part of building resilience, and it is a gift to journey with leaders as they step into that.

Kate: 鈥淢y hope for the Church is that God鈥檚 not done. And it might not look like the church that it looked like in our parents鈥� or grandparents鈥� ages, it might not be focused on Sunday morning worship, but I think God鈥檚 not done in gathering people in a certain type of way. I want to be part of making that happen, and I want to be part of helping resource the creative and courageous people who are stepping into this unknown territory.鈥�

Resources to Go Deeper

• You can learn more about the Resilient Leaders Project鈥攊ncluding our newsletter, upcoming events, and the application process for our next cohort鈥攁t theseattleschool.edu/rlp.
• Kate shares a poem by an anonymous survivor of rape, which reads in its entirety: 鈥淚 can鈥檛 forget what happened, but no one else remembers.鈥� When she was a student at 天美视频, Kate wrote this moving reflection about the installation and about church as a community that remembers and holds.
• Laura Wade recommends a book about integrating the feminine and masculine parts that live in each of us. The book is by Tami Lynn Kent.
• One of the practices Laura Wade mentions that she has returned to because of this work is running. You can read her reflection about how running helps her return to spiritual health in this blog.
• For more on resilience, you can watch Nikkita Oliver鈥檚 stunning talk from our 2018 Humanity Through Community gathering, and you can listen to Nikkita鈥檚 conversation with Shauna Gauthier from an earlier podcast episode.

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Of course it is all too easy to tune out our bodies, to ignore how they communicate our need for nurture. What are the practices that help us listen to our bodies? What are the rhythms and rituals that connect us to those deep, vulnerable parts of our bodies and souls that are crying out for care? Our students and alumni have been wrestling with these questions in beautiful, creative ways for many years, and we often turn to their voices when we need to remember how to be present in our bodies. Today we鈥檙e sharing a few of those voices鈥攖houghtful presentations inviting us to engage the rituals, rhythms, and age-old practices that draw us back to our deeply human need for nurture. And if you鈥檇 like to join us in the gift of learning from the integrative and insightful work of our students, save the date for the annual Integrative Project Symposium on May 31.

At our second annual Symposia in 2016, Heather Stringer (, 鈥�10) presented 鈥淏reaking Frozen Seas: How Rituals of the Body Transform Clients and Communities,鈥� exploring how intentional, sensual rituals open us to learning from our bodies as we pursue healing from trauma. 鈥淚 think our body longs to teach us, it longs to mother us, it longs to remind us,鈥� says Heather. 鈥淎nd without ritual, we foreclose creativity and shared open language about what is happening, and we dissociate.鈥�

鈥淚 think our body longs to teach us, it longs to mother us, it longs to remind us.鈥�

Also at Symposia 2016, Jenny McGrath (MACP, 鈥�15) talked about 鈥淗ealing Trauma Through Movement,鈥� sharing how dance had been an avenue of healing and growth in her own life, and how movement and dance can be used therapeutically to bring counseling and rehabilitation for trauma survivors. Jenny shares about her work in northern Uganda, researching the therapeutic power of movement in the wake of war and exploring how dance can help communicate emotional realities that are beyond language. 鈥淲e are affected not just neurologically, but neuro-physiologically when we go through trauma. We are not just floating heads,鈥� says Jenny. 鈥淪o there needs to be some form of engagement with our bodies if we are truly to develop a sustainable model for people to recover from their trauma.鈥�

At Symposia 2017 Jenny Wade (MACP, 鈥�13), a therapist and founder of in Seattle, shared about 鈥淔inding Beauty in Embodied Resistance.鈥� In this profound talk, Jenny starts with the disgust that so many people feel toward their bodies, and the million ways we are taught to believe that our bodies are not worth trusting. 鈥淚 believe that bodies are good,鈥� says Jenny. 鈥淭hey are good, and they are wise, and they are beautiful. [鈥 But trauma, both collective and personal, separates us from the felt experience of our body. When we experience trauma, our body feels foreign. Our body doesn鈥檛 feel like it鈥檚 ours.鈥�

(For more on this, we also deeply appreciated J. Knox Burnett鈥檚 (MACP, 鈥�13) presentation, )

When we are more fully connected to our bodies, we are more able to attune to spiritual practices and soul care. This is much of the work that Lacy Clark Ellman (MA in Theology & Culture, 鈥�12) fosters in her work as a spiritual director. In 2017, Lacy presented 鈥淏eyond Borders: Cultivating Awareness, Resilience, and Transformation through the Practice of Pilgrimage.鈥� In 2017 she shared about the ancient art of pilgrimage and the archetypal human stories that have so much to reveal about the journey of separation, initiation, and return. 鈥淭his adventure of the hero and journey of the pilgrim is built within each one of us,鈥� says Lacy. 鈥淎nd claiming it as our own, we are aligning with our divine imprint as seekers of the sacred.鈥�

(Kate Davis [Master of Divinity, 鈥�15] also powerfully reflected on the transformative insights of ancient human stories in her Integrative Project presentation, )

Across cultures and generations, these categories of initiation, wilderness, and pilgrimage have been central to questions of what it means to be fully human鈥攁nd yet for many of us, they feel so foreign today. That鈥檚 why we appreciated this Symposia 2016 presentation from Doug Wheeler (MA in Counseling, 1987), 鈥淣avigating the Masculine Journey with 鈥楽herpas鈥� Nouwen, Jung, and Peck.鈥� Doug reflects on the archetypes that help clarify the terrain and trajectory of human pilgrimage. 鈥淭here is no entry fee, but it will cost you plenty to make this journey. Pack a lunch, lose your map, travel lightly.鈥�

On May 31 we鈥檒l gather to hear from students in our Master of Divinity and MA in Theology & Culture programs as they present on the projects that serve as a capstone of their time in graduate school. The Integrative Project Symposium is always an inspiring, grounding, and thought-provoking time. All are welcome!

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This month on the Intersections blog, we are exploring the art of nurturing our identity and formation in a way that allows us to continue growing in wisdom, empathy, and clarity of calling. It is a challenge to open ourselves to the care and sustenance needed to sustain deep, meaningful service in the places of deep need all around us. And in order to open ourselves to care, we must also be able to identify the places of our identities that are still impacted and influenced by our histories of harm and internalized messages of shame.

In that vital, difficult work, we were deeply inspired by the research and insights offered by Gabes Torres, MA in Counseling Psychology student, MA in Theology & Culture alumna, and Program Assistant for The Allender Center, as she presented her Integrative Project in 2018. Gabes鈥檚 project, 鈥�Ang Mga Sugatang Kamay na Naghain sa Lamesa (The Scarred Hands that Set the Table)鈥擳he Violation of Hospitality: Consequences from Centuries of Colonization in the Philippines,鈥� wrestles with the painful scars that grow out of colonialism.

For this project, Gabes interviewed a Filipino woman who works in hospitality industries in the United States. Gabes describes the woman鈥檚 impulse toward subservience鈥攁 fear of saying no, challenging authority, or naming experiences of harm鈥攖hat is common among Filipino workers. Gabes argues that that subservience is a reflection of the manipulation and corrupt power dynamics at the heart of colonialism and imperialism.

鈥淭he irony here is in the fact that these events are taking place within the context of hospitality industries, and these reports violate the very meaning of hospitality,鈥� says Gabes. 鈥淏ecause the true practice of hospitality exists in the mutuality of responsibility and roles between host and guest, where there is a shared power, there is an equal value, acceptance, protection, service, and respect towards one another.鈥�

鈥淭he true practice of hospitality exists in the mutuality of responsibility and roles between host and guest.鈥�

To unpack the ongoing effects of colonization in Filipino culture, tradition, and even sense of self, Gabes says it is important to take a look at history and follow the narrative threads that are still very much at play today. But Gabes advises caution in doing so, since most of the dominant historical narratives propagate the belief that explorers and colonizers helped advance a 鈥減rimitive鈥� culture, rather than exposing the violence and irreversible harm brought by colonization. To meaningfully reflect on where we are today, we must be willing to tell the full, honest stories of where we have been.

鈥淣ot only do the artifacts of Spanish colonization and American imperialism spread out in language, in architecture, in our very names, but also in the ideas of the Filipinos, their ideas about themselves, and others, and their relationship to others,鈥� says Gabes. 鈥淚t is also very disturbing to realize that we do not need to be in North America to see the impact and pervasiveness of American exceptionalism and white supremacy.鈥�

Gabes argues that the end result of colonialism is an erasure of the self. Colonized people are taught to welcome and accommodate others at the expense of welcoming themselves as they are, and in the process the self is compromised and rejected. In response to this reality, Gabes ends her presentation with a letter that she wrote to her ancestors鈥攁 stunning, insightful work of art, and a profound assertion and celebration of self in the face of systemic harm.

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Shauna: 鈥淚 want to hone in, in this next season, on dropping down into the topics that have this weightiness to them that have to do with this particular period of time in the world.鈥�

Derek: 鈥淢ore lately, I think of text.soul.culture as being a vehicle of service. So I鈥檓 sure I鈥檒l be asking a lot more questions about serving. […] This season will be around us trying to figure out how do we serve?鈥�

If you鈥檝e listened to past episodes, you鈥檒l notice some differences in Season Three, including changes in production and episode structure. At the end of this episode, Nicole talks with Beau Denton, Content Curator, about some of these updates. We hope these changes reflect continued growth and innovation, while remaining true to our original mission for the text.soul.culture podcast: Grounded in the hope of fostering faithful dialogue, we are guided by a commitment to understanding narrative, wrestling with intersections, resisting reactivity, and fostering radical hospitality.

Beau: 鈥淎s an institution, we prioritize human dialogue. And that鈥檚 so different than one person speaking a monologue or writing a blog on their own. This is about conversation. […] My role here will be kind of an emcee to help facilitate the good work that our hosts are doing.鈥�

Stay tuned in coming weeks as we feature compelling conversations with alumni, faculty, and other thought leaders about living as wise, engaged, and courageous people in times of division and fragmentation. In the meantime, we would love to hear your feedback! If you have questions, responses, or ideas for future conversations, you can email us at communications@theseattleschool.edu.

Resources to Go Deeper

• In Season One, Derek engaged in conversations with Dr. Soong-Chan Rah, Jimmy McGee, Dr. Caprice Hollins, and 天美视频 faculty including Dr. Ron Ruthruff, Dr. Chelle Stearns, Dr. Angela Parker, and Dr. Stephanie Neill. You can catch up on all the episodes from Season One here.
• In Season Two, we introduced occasional 鈥渕inisodes,鈥� short conversations around the building about Lent, 天美视频鈥檚 Artist Residency, and what it means to be heard. We also welcomed Shauna Gauthier as a host and shared 鈥淔rom the Field鈥� episodes with Smruti Desai and Jeremy Dew, and we featured conversations with Nikkita Oliver, Dr. Curt Thompson, Dr. Dwight Friesen, and more. Listen to Season Two here.

text.soul.culture Hosts

Dr. Derek McNeil is the Acting President and Provost at 天美视频. He has a PhD in Counseling Psychology from Northwestern University and an MDiv from Fuller Theological Seminary, and his research, writing, and speaking have focused on issues of ethnic and racial socialization, the role of forgiveness in peacemaking, the identity development of African-American males, and marital intimacy. Learn more about Derek here.

Shauna Gauthier received her MA in Counseling Psychology from 天美视频 in 2010. She previously worked in the Denver Metro area as a therapist and a nonprofit program manager; she also helped launch 天美视频鈥檚 Colorado Alumni Chapter. After returning to Seattle, Shauna now serves as the Alumni Outreach Coordinator. She also enjoys writing and speaking about motherhood, feminism, and faith. Learn more about Shauna here.

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