The intent of the matching grant is to give the programs support as they move toward the goal of self-sustainability. Over the next five years, these funds must be matched by to support the program. These funds will continue to develop the Center鈥檚 capacities to reach new audiences, cultivate partnerships, and build relationships with donors.聽

The grant is a recognition of the Center鈥檚 deep impact and innovative work with ministry leaders. True to the mission of the school, these programs train for service at the intersection of text, soul, and culture by focusing on relationships and the formation of the whole person of the leader in context. Connecting a leader鈥檚 life story with the divine narrative are key components of building resilience and preparing leaders to develop transforming relationships in their contexts.

Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of 天美视频, commented on the project: 鈥淲e live in an era of immense social change, and we know that times of great change hold even greater possibilities. The Center equips leaders to cultivate those possibilities through transforming the ways we relate to one another鈥� going beyond traditional leadership training to equip leaders to be resilient in and responsive to their contexts in order to serve God and neighbor. I am grateful to Lilly Endowment for supporting this work; our society deeply needs resilient, responsive leaders for the era ahead.鈥�

The Center鈥檚 resilience development programs were founded and developed as an early project of the Thriving in Ministry Initiative in 2017; the presently awarded funds will support the work through 2028. Working at the intersection of theology and the social sciences, 天美视频 has always been well-situated to equip Christian leaders to face the systemic challenges in ministry. In its first years, the project team researched the well-being of ministry leaders through review of resilience literature and their own research. From those learnings, the 3-P model of resilience (People, Practices, and Purpose) was developed and shared in the . That report has spread widely and has been used by other organizations as the foundation of pastoral support programs across the country.

Throughout the pandemic, the Center continued to develop transformational spaces to guide people through difficulties with greater resilience and peer support. More recently, the team heard the need to address clergy burnout and with a follow-up report and podcast series.

The recent funding from Lilly Endowment will enable the Center for Transforming Engagement to continue the crucial work of equipping leaders to thrive. The Center will continue to offer cohort programs, individual coaching, and organizational consultation. The core of their work is focused on Resilience Circles and Leaders Circles.

鈥淲e know that change has the best chance of enduring when it occurs in the context of relationships,鈥� commented Kate Rae Davis, Executive Director of the Center. 鈥淲henever possible, we encourage people to join a Circle so that they鈥檙e not only learning how to make positive changes, they鈥檙e also getting the social support and encouragement to live those changes.鈥�

In , participants learn to integrate positive life changes that support their well-being in a mutually supportive group of like-hearted people seeking to make similar changes. support those seeking to realize organizational change with teachings and space to reflect on group dynamics and leadership. As participants journey together in a small group facilitated by a trained Convener, they find the relational safety needed to encourage mutual growth and transformation.

Davis continued: 鈥淟illy Endowment knows that relationships are the context for thriving. I鈥檓 grateful for the continuation of the Thriving in Ministry Initiative, which does immense work to support ministry leaders across North America, and I鈥檓 particularly grateful for the trust they have shown in our project.鈥�

The Thriving in Ministry Initiative helps pastors develop meaningful relationships with wise colleagues who can guide them through leadership challenges, especially during transitions in their ministerial careers. Lilly Endowment has awarded grants to 129 religious organizations located in 33 states across the U.S. and the District of Columbia. Thriving in Ministry projects are led by theological schools, faith-based colleges and universities, congregations, denominational agencies, independent religious organizations, and religious communities that reflect diverse Christian traditions, serving pastoral leaders in congregational settings from a wide variety of racial and cultural backgrounds, denominations, geographic settings, and regions.聽

Lilly Endowment Inc. is an Indianapolis-based private foundation created in 1937 by J.K. Lilly and his sons, Eli and J.K. Jr., through gifts of stock in their pharmaceutical business, Eli Lilly and Company. While those gifts remain the financial bedrock of the Endowment, the Endowment is a separate entity from the company with a distinct governing board, staff, and location. In keeping with its founders鈥� wishes, the Endowment supports the causes of community development, education and religion.

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Last Christmas, my brother gifted me a plant propagation kit containing three beautiful hanging glass vases and clippings from his collection. Choosing to suspend them above my sink served two important purposes: it鈥檚 the only window with generous amounts of light, and being in the kitchen all day as a stay-at-home wife and mom makes me far more likely to remember to care for them. This was largely a 鈥渢hrow it in some water and see what happens” kind of thing. I found pleasure in looking for subtle changes, and I had no idea what adjustments my little plants would make in their effort to survive.

In 2017, I was getting towards the end of my second year as a special education teacher. As I sat down in front of my computer, I began searching for answers to some half-baked questions gnawing away at me. 鈥淲hy do I feel like I can鈥檛 go on?鈥� 鈥淐an I be burnt out so early in my career?鈥� 鈥淎m I practicing self-care and keeping good boundaries?鈥� 鈥淚 don鈥檛 feel burnt out, but I cannot go on like this.鈥�

I couldn鈥檛 keep it together, and I wanted to know what was wrong.

While I haven鈥檛 ventured to say this work was 鈥渕y calling,鈥� I can say with certainty that I longed to be there with a posture of participation in suffering, eager to live out the idea that we do our best work not when we see ourselves on the side of Christ giving to other people, but when we elevate others to the place of Christ and love and serve from there.

While my internet search assured me I was far from the only teacher feeling so depleted, it did little to help me understand my experience. And though I fantasized of ways to escape, I had loans to pay, a commitment for a grant I accepted in college to finish five years of teaching, and this twinge in my chest that seemed to say 鈥渂ut if you leave, Rachel, you will have failed.鈥�

For the first few days, I casually monitored my little clippings, glancing up at them as I washed dishes or meal-prepped. Sometimes, I studied them a bit longer, though. Taking in every curve and hue, I anticipated the first sign of roots. But something else caught my eye first – their stems were turning brown. They were splitting apart. It was as if they couldn鈥檛 bother to keep themselves together anymore. They were so new, and yet, they were dying. I wondered in disappointment, what went wrong? But, I decided to let them sit there for a bit. Who knows, I figured, they might heal themselves.

For three more years, I thought I was dying, too. Demoralization, moral injury, vicarious trauma, burnout, postpartum anxiety, and depression: though I eventually stumbled upon language for my experiences, too often I could do little to affect the change needed to make my environment safe and my work sustainable.

As the days went by, I waited and I watched.聽 Would the crack in the stem heal itself? Or would the wound go the whole way and kill my plant? To my surprise, I noticed strange black bumps appear – roots. My torn-open little clipping was growing roots, after all. That鈥檚 not a sign of a dying plant.

In yet another desperate search through the internet, I found 天美视频鈥檚 Certificate in Resilient Service. I was tired of hearing the word 鈥渞esilience鈥� weaponized to blame the failings of a broken system on teachers鈥� moral weakness. However, phrases on the school鈥檚 website – 鈥渢o actively become more healthy, whole, and holy because of those challenges鈥� and 鈥渓ive into their purpose regeneratively鈥� – led me to conclude that this was a different, truer sense of resilience. I wanted in.

So here鈥檚 what I didn鈥檛 know about my plant clipping: that browning gap, the 鈥渨ound,鈥� is not the beginnings of death. It is an opening to make room for a new leaf. New life.

By the time I began the Certificate, I had chosen to resign from teaching. Though I stepped away in confidence, the breaking I felt over the last five years also felt like a wound. I knew I needed to let it break open if I wanted to heal.

It wasn鈥檛 long before the women in my circle group bore witness to me coming undone. In those first few days, they sat with me in the tearing open of my story and they held space for the ways I had learned to adapt in order to survive.

They watched with more patience and wisdom than I had with my little plant cuttings. When they looked at me, they didn鈥檛 see death – not because I was flourishing – but because they are mature council, experienced propagators. Without fixing or rushing, they bore witness to the subtle changes, waiting expectantly for more fullness to emerge. To me, splitting open felt like death; but they recognized that it was the beginning of life.

This isn鈥檛 how I thought new life comes about. But here it is in front of me, the breaking open is the entry point – not an obstacle – towards growth.

And oh, how my plant clipping continues to preach the gospel to me. I only have to read the Easter story to see I am in good company with people who think 鈥渄eath鈥� when there is a tearing open. Jesus鈥� closest friends grieved when the Bread of Life was broken. But salvation didn鈥檛 come despite death, but through it. The Author of Life didn鈥檛 write the story of grace despite the fall, but through it. And God isn’t making me new despite my pain – but through it.

I’ve found the greatest peace in my greatest wounds when grace and restoration find their way there. From these wounds, I wait expectantly for more fullness of life to break through. So I praise God in the deepest pain; it鈥檚 there I experience the greatest joy.

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Now enter a conversation of compassion and empathy. As a counseling professional, I have been raised on a steady diet of empathy. As a category and a construct, empathy has shown up in many counseling texts: those that taught me counseling theories, counseling skills, and set the larger frame of the counseling profession. I didn鈥檛 have much reason to give this a second thought until I ran across the work of Martin Buber, whose I and Thou (1971) does not necessarily tolerate empathy as an option if one is seeking to be present and to engage in a holistic dialogue with another. As I listened to Buber鈥檚 call to 鈥渢he space between鈥� the I and the Thou wherein 鈥渙ne person happens to another鈥� and where all of meaningful life and existence is found in the moments of meeting between one and the other, I found myself asking the question: what is the difference between empathy and compassion? Might a pursuit of empathy exclude the moments of meeting Buber pointed to? Might compassion, or that which Jesus seemed to live and breathe in the Christian scriptures, offer a greater likelihood of the meetings of mutuality and reciprocity that Buber envisioned?

In asking that question, a group of students and I completed a review of the counseling literature pertaining to empathy and compassion, and we found that the field and its constituents seemed as uncertain as I was. Sometimes these terms were used interchangeably, but other times they seemed to reference rather different things.

As a counselor-educator, I began to wonder about the efficacy of teaching and learning one over the other, and as a Christian, I couldn鈥檛 run from my understanding that Jesus did not teach empathy, but rather, compassion.

The word compassion comes from the Latin compati, and it means to 鈥渟uffer with.鈥� In surveying the literature on compassion, it is the 鈥渨ithness鈥� that is made possible in and through compassion that I find to be the most compelling. Researchers (Bibeau, Dionne, & Leblanc, 2015; Fehse, Silveira, Elvers, & Blautzik, 2014; Fernardo & Consedine, 2014; Greenberg & Turksma, 2015) have tethered compassion not just to a felt experience, but also to a desire to move towards and/or to connect with another who is experiencing pain and suffering.

Empathy is, in part, about the alleviation of pain for the person providing it, whereas compassion extends to affiliation and the rewards of social connection (Klimeckii et al., 2013; Stickle, 2016). Can you hear the significant difference here? One alleviates the pain of the 鈥済iver鈥� (not the receiver!), and the other brings reward through connection (withness).

The everyday definition of empathy I鈥檝e been handed through the years is a willingness to place oneself in another鈥檚 shoes. Even though empathy can be both simple (cognitive) and complex (affective) (Bussey et al., 2015), I can say my working experience with it through the years has trended towards the simple or cognitive, with its task being largely to understand the experience(s) of another. If one surveys social scenes across the United States of America, they may see cultural awakenings happening in places where people are acknowledging the impact of Western colonization and the ways it has led to the , including (but not limited to) BIPOC folks. What is more, if one looks at the scientific methods used in the West, one will also see the privileging of understanding over experience, with the former resting on the laurels of data quantifications, and the latter dismissed as 鈥渨oo woo鈥� or nonempirical. Pair an impulse to colonize with a tendency to reify (to see a piece or part of someone as the whole of who they are) by way of empiricism and one might just get a field of helping professionals who see it as their job to empathize with those folks they serve, rather than a field full of folks who have purposed to move with the withness of desire. Empathy may end up as another (intended or unintended) casualty of colonization and of oppressive systems bent towards maintaining the status quo of power. The helping professional鈥檚 felt sense of spirituality in their work may dissipate, leaving them with little but a hollow shell of roles and obligations.

Common to the helping and healing professions is the , or what has been commonly referred to as compassion fatigue. My wondering is whether this may be a misplaced construct and if the greater likelihood is that one would experience empathy fatigue, rather than compassion fatigue. If empathy requires me to leave my own sense of locatedness and join with another where they are, then I may run the risk of leaving my own personhood behind. This was Buber鈥檚 contention (1971): to engage with another (鈥渢hou鈥�), one must locate oneself firmly in an 鈥淚.鈥� Dialogue can only emerge in the spaces between two people who are firmly rooted and rooting in their own experience(s). Empathy may require less of an 鈥淚,鈥� and more of a 鈥測ou,鈥� which could very well drain the system of the person looking to afford care. What is more, the 鈥測ou鈥� of another can quickly turn towards objectification (reification), with empathy becoming a moment of object-to-object transaction rather than a subject-to-subject experience.

I find great encouragement in Brene Brown鈥檚 findings (2015), that levels of compassion positively correlate with healthy . In other words, the withness of compassion can bring or perpetuate a sense of health and wholeness within a relationship. When two people get to be people and to experience the belonging that such withness affords, the possibility of health, healing, and restoration grows. I believe the realities of COVID-19 have opened a wormhole wherein helping professionals will be required to engage with a sense of withness that pre-COVID practice did not require. Though I don鈥檛 know all of what this will mean or may look like, I already find it happening in my conversations with others. Maybe the crisis of pandemic is the very thing that has been needed to (re)orient a field that has skewed in the direction of power (empathy), rather than desire (compassion). Maybe, when it comes to helping professionals, the urgency of this pandemic will necessitate attention and care first for oneself so as to promote care for another (Bibeau et al., 2015), thereby opening spaces for those helping professionals to move past the alleviation of pain that empathy offers to the reward of affiliation made possible through compassion. Pandemic seems to (re)turn each of us to ourselves and to the potential to (re)orient to our desires, and my hope is that it will also (re)orient and (re)turn the fields of helping professionals to their constituents with the health made possible in and through the withness of desire that sits at the heart of compassion.

References

Bibeau, M., Dionne, F., & Leblanc, J. (2015). Can compassion meditation contribute to the development of psychotherapists鈥� empathy? A review. Mindfulness, 7(1), 255-263. doi:10.1007/s12671-015-0439-y

Buber, M. (1971). I and thou. (Walter Kaufmann, Trans.). New York, NY: Touchstone.

Bussey, K., Quinn, C., & Dobson, J. (2015). The moderating role of empathic concern and perspective taking on the relationship between moral disengagement and aggression. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 61(1), 10鈥�29.

Brown, B (2015). Rising strong: The reckoning, the rumble, the revolution. New York, NY: Random House.

Fehse, K., Silveira, S., Elvers, K., & Blautzik, J. (2014). Compassion, guilt and innocence: An fMRI study of responses to victims who are responsible for their fate. Social Neuroscience, 10(3), 243-252. doi:10.1080/17470919.2014.980587

Fernando, A.T. III, & Consedine, N.S., (2014, August). Beyond compassion fatigue: The transactional model of physician compassion. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, 48(2), 289-298.

Greenberg, M. T., & Turksma, C. (2015). Understanding and watering the seeds of compassion. Research in Human Development, 12(3-4), 280-287. doi:10.1080/15427609.2015.1068060

Klimecki, O. M., Leiberg, S., Ricard, M., & Singer, T. (2013). Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience,9(6), 873-879. doi:10.1093/scan/nst060

Stickle, M. (2016). The expression of compassion in social work practice. Journal of Religion & Spirituality in Social Work: Social Thought, 35(1-2), 120-131. doi:10.1080/15426432.2015.1067587

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Fast forward 6+ months and the tenor of conversations have shifted. Disaster models now predict high levels of anxiety, depression, and as we move through this stage of our nation鈥檚 current plight. Home-based school startups have gobbled up the time and attention, if not hope, of many families throughout the United States. Parents are tired and overwhelmed, and kids are often overly energetic, listless, or both. Deep-seated tensions between partners have nowhere to go but out into the air that is already rife with fear and anxiety, grief and loss. Many single folks have sunk further into the isolation and loneliness that already resided within them, craving even the basics of touch, of a non-virtual smile (one would have to take off their mask to provide such), and wondering when and how opportunities to connect will again be available.

No matter your place, . This pandemic is taking our breath away, both literally and metaphorically. In the face of such a crisis, how do we engage a conversation about self-care?

For years now, I have been giving lectures and talks with titles such as this one, claiming the deadness of self-care as it is often conceptualized and sometimes practiced (or not). Like so many 鈥渢hings鈥� in the West, self-care has been commodified, commercialized, objectified, and turned into an accomplishment. Either that or it has become code for sleeping in or finding other means of shutting the proverbial world out: distraction, if not dissociation. What we truly need鈥攑urposeful, personal, and process-oriented engagement鈥攃an be scant.

In working with the literature on self-care for helping professionals like myself, I鈥檝e come to my own working definition of self-care. Self-care is the working out of one鈥檚 need and desire to experience belonging and connection. But are belonging and connection even possible in the midst of a pandemic? In particular, how about for those folks who face the intersectionality of multiple pandemics: COVID-19 and ?

As a counselor, I鈥檓 aware that conversations about self-care are typically tagged to terms and experiences that bear a negative connotation, such as burnout, vicarious trauma, or compassion fatigue. In other words, practitioners often start to talk about self-care once it鈥檚 鈥渢oo late鈥� and they鈥檝e run out of steam; self-care becomes something to pick up at the corner store on the way home from work. What is more, because as a society we have problematized our pain, many self-care strategies and practices are meant to medicate one鈥檚 pain. Rather than learning to listen to our pain and to where it might lead us, self-care roadmaps point to unrealistic, pain-free destinations full of trim bodies and Zen-like temperaments. For those of us that have spent any time in the church, our sense of the word 鈥渟elf鈥� may have also been skewed, becoming something to give away (鈥渂e selfless鈥�) rather than something to be filled and stewarded.

My belief is that if conversations around and practices of self-care are going to gain any traction, especially in a pandemic, we need to refresh our understanding of the following elements: self, need, and desire.

We now know enough, through the work of epigeneticists and those who study the impact of generational patterns (traumas, 鈥渟ins,鈥� and related genetic predispositions) to say that our sense of self is deeply embedded in our people: in who we were, where we were, what we鈥檝e experienced, and how we鈥檝e gotten this far. If you come from a people whose humanity was stripped or maligned in some way, then your efforts to live as a self will bear such marks. If you come from a line of 鈥済ivers鈥� who have taught you that ministry and service are godly and required, then the infilling of one鈥檚 self will seem perplexing if not problematic. In other words, the code to (self-)care to some degree resides in the light switches in our DNA. To that end, we could think of self-care as 鈥渃ellf-care.鈥� Our lives and the lives of those who have come before us have turned on/off possibilities for engagement often before our conscious minds have even had a chance to orient or chime in. In such times and in such cases, self-care is over before it begins.

As I look at the differences between needs and desires, I see a blend of what connects us and also what differentiates us as image-bearers of God. Needs are common to us all: We eat, we sleep, we defecate. Needs are designed to be met. We need a place to connect and to belong, and we will go to great lengths in search of such. It is our needs that reveal our commonality or oneness as beings that are interdependent and interconnected. Everything connects to everything, and everyone (every body) connects to everyone (every body).

In contrast, it鈥檚 the particularity of our desires that make each of us who we are. Desire is at the root of personhood and personality. It鈥檚 what gets us up in the morning, and it鈥檚 what puts us in touch with that which is larger than us. Desire embeds itself with meaning and purpose. And if the purpose of desire is desire, then the wheel of desire is always moving in the direction of regeneration, transcendence, and making contact with the Infinite/Eternal. It is at the heart of what it means to be a spiritual being.

Contrast desire with expectation. Expectation is hollowed-out desire. Expectation turns gift to guilt. In a season of so much loss (pandemic), capitalism revs its engine of dissatisfaction and signals us to ramp up our expectations of ourselves and how we鈥檙e navigating this season. Many people (at least to whom I鈥檓 talking) end up worse for the wear, and further separated not just from the or taken, but even more so separated from the lifeline of their desire.

We can do better than this. Or better said, we can be kinder than this. When we downgrade desire from its seat with the Divine to that which consumeristically compels us, we end up with a bunch of nice smelling bath salts and soaps that we are often too tired to use (and who has a bathtub clean enough for that, anyway?!). In my mind, we need to begin to track differently the trail of clues our system (mind/body/spirit) offers us as we seek to steward our needs and desires. WiFi connections have disconnected us from heart centers and minds that are designed to mirror each other, and we鈥檝e been left to respective worlds wherein much of our experience can be described by Sherry Turkle鈥檚 term (2011), 鈥渁lone together.鈥� We must (re)orient to our pain and see it not as something to be put off or fixed, but rather as a voice worth listening to.

I鈥檇 like to propose that a pandemic is not the time to try to enact 鈥渢raditional鈥� practices of self-care. Such propositions bring guilt, not rest, recovery, or any sense of belonging. As we head into the darkness of a pending fall and winter without a vaccine, I鈥檇 like to suggest the following:

• Remember who you are by way of the stories of your people: What pain has come to you by way of your lineage? How can you interact in such a way that honors your ancestors and therefore your self in the process?
• Toss out expectations: Place them in the recycling bin or compost pile where your desires can (re)emerge as that which orients you and brings you life. That said, don鈥檛 reach for tomorrow, today鈥檚 got enough troubles of its own.
• Obligatory plans for the holiday season should be replaced with a focus on today, and on what might bring you a sense of fulfillment in the now.
• Consider adopting a pet, or if you have one, reach out to them as much as you can! The touch of another living being is what we鈥檙e designed for.
• Allow the phrase 鈥淚t鈥檚 going to be OK鈥� to turn from a promise that things will work out to an offering of connection and belonging with those you love.
• Listen to your pain and allow it to guide you. Trade fixes for fondness. Practice saying, 鈥淭his is me鈥︹�� as you interact with the parts of you that struggle with the dis-ease that鈥檚 in the air and in our bodies.
• Practice acknowledging your limits, for limits remind us of our need and desire for belonging and connection.

This is not a list of 鈥渢hings鈥�-to-do鈥攚ho needs another one of those? What I offer instead are processes to engage and take part in: practices in remembering and reconnecting. As we say in my house, 鈥減ractice your patience鈥� when needed and continue working it out.

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What does flourishing leadership look like in the real world? Resilient Leaders Project asked alumni of 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology about how they鈥檝e flourished while creating contextually-responsive ministry. In listening to these leaders, we found six common themes–practices and ways of being that other leaders can apply to increase their own flourishing. This blog series will share those themes, one at a time, through the stories of flourishing leaders. To see the other themes and leader profiles, read the . This week鈥檚 theme is boundaries: leaders need boundaries around time, sense of responsibility, and self.

Michele Ward

MDiv 2015

Associate Pastor, Brown Memorial Park Avenue Presbyterian Church
Clergy Community Organizer, Baltimoreans United in Leadership Development (BUILD), Metro IAF Affiliate

I enjoy ministry and find it life giving. With any work, though, the underside emerges when love of work becomes an addiction. I learned to be a workaholic through church and academia, receiving praise for unhealthy behaviors such as staying up late to finish projects, being constantly available to lead at church, and overscheduling myself. This all came to a head when I started my first ordained call in Philadelphia. The work culture there was entrenched in start-up mode concepts of work-life balance, which is typically more common in places like Silicon Valley and Seattle. I was not expecting start-up culture to follow me to the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection. We were serving a high needs population, with thousands of guests walking through the doors each week. My impulse was to reactively meet that need without thinking about the impact it might have on me. My colleagues and I had to work very hard to maintain and celebrate our boundaries so we could continue to serve.

To sum up my purpose in life and work, I come back to an ordination question that I said 鈥測es鈥� to: 鈥淲ill you pray for and seek to serve the people with energy, intelligence, imagination, and love?鈥� It is these four categories that I think about when I consider my flourishing and the flourishing of the community. In my work, I try to embody Christ through acts of compassion, play, hospitality, and neighborliness. My constant question is, 鈥渉ow can I be a better neighbor?鈥�

Seth Thomas

RLP 2018-19
MDiv year 2016

Pastor, St. James Presbyterian Church

For me, flourishing in service to God and neighbor means calling out people鈥檚 ability to bear the image of God in them to its fullest form. It鈥檚 identifying people鈥檚 gifts and the opportunities they have to engage those gifts in the practical places they are in everyday. It鈥檚 an awakening of their image-bearing nature.

On the flip side, the challenges to my flourishing have been the denial of my own gifts and fear of using my voice that the image of God has placed in me. It鈥檚 easy to deny the gifts that we have and stay locked up in our brokenness, to not seek the healing that can happen in the community of the church. My own healing and growth are really key to my success as a leader and caretaker of others. I鈥檓 an enneagram 9; I am self-neglectful. So what I actually need to do is not go looking for ways to care for other people, I have to do the work of caring for myself, so that I can do the work of caring for other people. I need to tell people what I need, so an important practice for me is honesty about my needs. I need to attend to my whole being so I can attend to another鈥檚 whole being.

Flourishing requires slowing down. I have to do the prayerful and introspective work of asking 鈥渨hat鈥檚 going on that is so challenging, why is it so challenging, and what is it stirring in me?鈥� Instead of running away from it, I have to take the time to engage with what the opportunity for growth is in that moment.

Learn more about and the .

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What does flourishing leadership look like in the real world? Resilient Leaders Project asked alumni of 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology about how they鈥檝e flourished while creating contextually-responsive ministry. In listening to these leaders, we found six common themes–practices and ways of being that other leaders can apply to increase their own flourishing. This blog series will share those themes, one at a time, through the stories of flourishing leaders. To see the other themes and leader profiles, read the . This week鈥檚 theme is body: leaders need to develop practices that honor their God-given body and connect body to soul.

Jenny Wade

MACP 2013

Psychotherapist and Yoga Instructor

As a therapist, I began to notice that after a full day of seeing clients I experienced tenderness and pain through my sternum, and taking deep breaths felt difficult. I realized that my body was mirroring my clients鈥� tension. As much as I worked during my sessions to metabolize the physical intensity of whatever emotion my client brought into the room, I was always leaving feeling physically and energetically depleted. I decided to practice a form of bodywork, SOMA, that acknowledges the ways that tension in the body reflects tension in the mind.

Now, when I experience discomfort in my physical body, I recognize these sensations as my body trying to alert me to some kind of emotional or spiritual disruption in my life. When I sense this tension I can nurture my body with massage, myofascial release, yoga, dance, or breath work – in these ways I鈥檓 able to discharge the accumulated tension that is a natural result of meditating on other鈥檚 trauma multiple times a day. I have learned how to use movement as prayer, and I see how being with my body is a worshipful experience.

Movement is my medicine, but there is a heavy, oppressive force that I have to push against internally in order to choose movement for myself. It鈥檚 a very real form of spiritual warfare that I have to engage on behalf of my own personal healing. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte taught me to ask the question, 鈥楬ow do I want to feel today/this week/this year?鈥� and then to consider what I need to do in order to feel that way. Framing my choices from a place of desire vs. a 鈥榮hould鈥� helps me to choose movement that feels authentic!

Lang Charters

MDiv 2014

Yoga Pastor

I started seminary after a hiking injury ended my successful military career. At 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology, I learned the importance of pastors being in and with the community they live in and serve. Teaching yoga became that point of community connection for me while I continued to primarily pursue and dream about being a more traditional pastor.

As this journey was beginning to unfold, I went through a divorce and was passed over by the church I wanted to work for. I had poured my 鈥渟elf鈥� into both relationships, only to be left alone as an unrequited lover. The beautiful plot twist, though, is the failures and the undoing of my 鈥渟elf鈥� were my salvation! While 鈥渉usband鈥� and 鈥減astor鈥� were things I did, or wanted to do, neither of them were who I was in my essence. Jesus emphasized how important it is to 鈥渓ose your life to find it鈥� because it鈥檚 precisely by losing our small selves (jobs, titles, relationships, possessions, accolades, etc.) that we find our true selves in Christ.

So, after 鈥渇ailing鈥� at pastoring in a church, today my pastoring is teaching a person, or three, or ten in a yoga class … and I wouldn鈥檛 trade it for the world. As a yoga pastor I think of myself as a conduit for love and endeavor to help people tangibly experience the bliss of being in Christ. As we breathe mindfully we take in Spirit, as we move purposefully we integrate body, mind, and spirit, and as we unclutter our minds, we shift our experience from small selves to True Self. In a very real sense I鈥檓 never not pastoring: to pastor is to care for souls, which means journeying with people toward a beautiful and holistic existence.

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What does flourishing leadership look like in the real world? Resilient Leaders Project asked alumni of 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology about how they鈥檝e flourished while creating contextually-responsive ministry. In listening to these leaders, we found six common themes–practices and ways of being that other leaders can apply to increase their own flourishing. This blog series will share those themes, one at a time, through the stories of flourishing leaders. To see the other themes and leader profiles, read the . This week鈥檚 theme is connection to God: leaders need practices that help them experience transcendence and guidance from God.

Martha Wood

MDiv 2015

Interim Released Minister at West Hills Friends Church

Being a minister in a Quaker setting is a unique playground. I get to contribute and
participate as one part of the whole body rather than get saddled with the weight and pressure of making the church 鈥渟uccessful鈥� or delivering 鈥減owerful鈥� sermons. I do get to be up front more often, hosting meetings for worship and offering messages, but my task is to make space for each person to encounter the Divine, to offer prompts and opportunities to hear the Spirit as clearly as possible, to identify and connect folks鈥� swaths of gifts and contributions in the life of the community. Leading in this context is the ground of my flourishing.

My previous call brought my personal story, strengths and weaknesses into sharp relief: I will always hope for harmony within a community, and the community鈥檚 fractures will reflexively attempt to rend me. My job (on paper) was to hold this community together while trying to
reconcile its warring parties. I experienced disrupted sleep, chest pains, headaches, difficulty concentrating, weeping on my daily commute: I was play-doh-pressed by the demands. Many voices clamored for my attention, but I came to see that my task was to listen through and beyond all those voices for the voice of the Spirit, for the greater truth that we all needed to hear. Some people expected me to save their church, but I knew that the Spirit would be the one moving in people鈥檚 hearts; it wasn鈥檛 my job to change or save anyone. I had never before felt such dependence on and sustenance from God.

There was a rollercoaster year between my first and second call, during which I grappled deeply and encountered the thing that has reoriented my life: pilgrimage. I walked the French route of the Camino de Santiago, and six months later returned to Spain to walk the Camino Primitivo and to volunteer in a pilgrim shelter. These three experiences renovated the way I understand and experience God, faith, community, faith-community, fellowship, ministry, time, resources, provision, and myself in the world. Walking 800 km was a foil for encounter: encountering God, myself, others, creation. I could not comprehend the word 鈥渇lourishing鈥� apart from the experience of pilgrimage.

Hillary B. Kimsey

MDiv 2017

Hospital Chaplain, candidate for Episcopal Priesthood

When I was a resident chaplain at Harborview, I became deeply involved in a tragic case involving a child that dragged on for months. The grief of this child, these parents, and the many caregivers involved poured into me along with my own grief and crushing sense of helplessness. I finally said to my peers and my educator, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” I wept in front of them, letting loose all of my sadness, my anger, my doubts–both in God and myself. And when I had finished weeping, I wondered– have I shown them now that I can’t do it by this show of emotion? But no, what I found was the group weeping with me and joining me in the struggle.

At the same time, I was in discernment for my call to the Episcopal Priesthood. In sharing with my discernment group what I was going through, I broke down into tears and admitted to doubts and anger and despair of God even while I clung to my love for God and belief that God’s presence somehow remained with me and the family I’d come to care for so much. When my tears were spent, I wondered– have I shown them I’m unfit for the priesthood by this show of emotion? But no– they cried with me and said, “We are more sure now than ever that you are called.”

Both times, my vulnerability was welcomed and cared for, even seen as a strength! I learned that to flourish in this ministry, I must tend to my own grief in safe and supportive communities.

Lisa Henton

Certificate in Resilient Service 2018-2019

Pastor, Coast Vineyard Church

I believe there are three components to flourishing: belonging, being and doing. I get a picture of an amazing healthy fruit tree: deep roots and a solid trunk with far-reaching branches that are filled with good fruit. In this analogy, the belonging would be the root system, the being would be the trunk and the doing would be the branching out bearing much fruit.

As a leader, I have to ask myself what am I flourishing unto: the world or God鈥檚 Kingdom? The secular world tells us that flourishing is about our doing and that鈥檚 where we get belonging or our being. We have to retrain ourselves and the people in our community about what flourishing in the Kingdom really is.

As a leader, I try not to underestimate the power of prayer. I think we fall into this trap because it鈥檚 easier to put our best effort into it and see some results, even if they鈥檙e not a fraction of what we鈥檙e hoping for. Prayer is about our connection with God; it鈥檚 how we sink our roots in deep to get the nourishment for our being and the outflow of our doing. We need to be deeply grounded in the heavenly father鈥檚 love for us. The ancient future community in Acts joined together and prayed constantly; that鈥檚 how they were able to flourish under all kinds of conditions.

Obedience is also important, especially when I鈥檝e had to face betrayal in my ministry. Like the community in Acts who obeyed the Spirit by replacing Judas, we also must carry on with what we have been commissioned to do even in the face of betrayal.

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What does flourishing leadership look like in the real world? Resilient Leaders Project asked alumni of 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology about how they鈥檝e flourished while creating contextually-responsive ministry. In listening to these leaders, we found six common themes–practices and ways of being that other leaders can apply to increase their own flourishing. This blog series will share those themes, one at a time, through the stories of flourishing leaders. To see the other themes and leader profiles, . This week鈥檚 theme is self-compassion: leaders need to give themselves grace and permission to be fully human.

Wakaki Thompson

The Allender Center, Training Certificate 2018鈥�2019

Reverend and Computer Systems Architect

I hope to flourish in the tension of love, disappointment, hurt and joy. I see flourishing as a mutual–but not transactional–relationship with peaks and valleys. It鈥檚 asking my neighbor more thoughtful and deeper questions to sufficiently attune to them; it鈥檚 seeking their story to better understand their development and the critical people in their lives. I would hope to see myself in their brokenness and rehearsed behaviors, so this mutual identification could help provide a shared grace and mercy for bonded neighborly connection. If we can relate with others as mysteriously and supernaturally as described, to intimately and spiritually connect with others in a series of moments, I believe that to be Christlike.

To engage myself deeply and intimately is a challenge. I have developed a superhero persona and often suppress my feelings. I was taught to power through situations and to leverage logic over emotions. I was taught to look out for myself and to be the center of my decision tree. I was taught relationships should have a checklist and meet certain criteria.

However, past midlife, I am challenged to change who I am to be more like Christ. I鈥檓 challenged to reveal my pain, trauma, and brokenness, to realize that this does not make me weaker but in reality, makes me stronger and more worthy of trust and connection with others. I should not have to shoulder all the load when we as a community can bear it together more honestly. Being a superhero is not healthy or realistic. Having the strength to point to God is sufficient and embodies a more sustaining joy.

Suzanne Aultman

MACP, 2016

Structural Engineer

As a structural engineer who supervises several others, I am constantly juggling the demands on my time from others across all departments. My hope is to see each person and to know them beyond the role they fulfill at our company. If I can remember something specific about them to ask about or to acknowledge, maybe they will feel seen. It is in the small moments of seeing the other that we tend to have the most impact and sometimes not even realize it.

Something my time at 天美视频 helped me refine was my ability to read a situation 鈥� to recognize when there is something deeper happening in an interaction. When I notice that something else is happening, I begin asking myself questions to determine how much I should engage it in the moment. Kindness is both acknowledging what you see in a person while also knowing when it is not the most appropriate time to name it, especially in a corporate environment. It is always a judgment call 鈥� sometimes I鈥檓 right and sometimes I鈥檓 wrong. I do not sit in shame for failing; instead, it pushes me to pay better attention to those around me and to respond when I notice a need. For the moments I happen to notice and engage, there is a reward in the connection with the other that encourages me to keep going.

Also, being a community, this is not a one-way interaction. I must be willing to be able to speak my needs so that others can respond to me and offer to me where I am lacking. It is in the giving and receiving that we can all grow and flourish together.

Ruth Wiley

MACP, 2016

Counselor

Two challenges to my flourishing are shame and overcommitment. Shame inhibits flourishing by not allowing psychic space for creativity to thrive, thus limiting how I share my gifts with the world. Overcommitment, which can be subtly fueled by shame, reduces the quality of my presence and work. The irony of both of these self-protective postures is that we try to hide the parts of ourselves that we deem unlovable and so we do not allow the gaze of compassionate others to reframe who we are in a fuller more nuanced way. I feel shame, so I do not want you to see me more fully for fear that you will deem me unworthy too. But when I can love the aspects of me that are 鈥渦gly,鈥� the roots that support flourishing for self and others can authentically grow deeper into love.

I address these challenges through growing self-compassion. I believe that Jesus was the most self-compassionate person to live. It was because of his deep care and compassion for himself that he was able to love others so disruptively well. When I first began meditative centering prayer, I could not imagine being able to honestly say to myself Brene Brown鈥檚 now-famous sentence: 鈥淚 am worthy of love and belonging.鈥� As I avidly continued my contemplative practice, my own therapy, my academic pursuits and my engagement with my community, something changed where my chest cavity meets my thoughts and words are formed. One morning while lying on my floor in our attic apartment in Seattle, I, like C. S. Lewis, was surprised by joy: 鈥淥h my God I am worthy of love and belonging.鈥� Coming to love myself is and will be my leadership crucible. Love is what God is and is doing.

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What does flourishing leadership look like in the real world? Resilient Leaders Project asked alumni of 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology about how they鈥檝e flourished while creating contextually-responsive ministry. In listening to these leaders, we found six common themes–practices and ways of being that other leaders can apply to increase their own flourishing. This blog series will share those themes, one at a time, through the stories of flourishing leaders. To see the other themes and leader profiles, read the Flourishing in Service Report. This week鈥檚 theme is community: leaders need relationships in which they can be vulnerable about their experiences and collaborative in service.

Phil Doud

MDiv 2013

Life Coach at Heroically

As a life coach, I am driven by the questions of who people are and how they change, develop, and flourish. My work is focused on caring for those in the helping professions: educators, health care and medical professionals, mental health and social service workers, ministers and clergy. The name Heroically is word play. I want people to actually live heroically, taking on world-saving problems in challenging work. And I want to both be a heroic ally, helping the helpers to flourish along the way. Helpers have high rates of stress, compassion fatigue, disillusionment and burnout. To thrive, they need supportive community, safe spaces to grow, struggle, and yes, play. That鈥檚 why I鈥檝e launched Heroic Ally Game Groups, inviting people to build community, reflect, and explore identity through a custom tabletop roleplaying game.

Roleplaying games are really storytelling games in which participants assume a contextual identity within a hypothetical setting. The games I lead are meant to be epic, with big stakes and powerful obstacles, giving people practice in taking on overwhelming challenges, handling setbacks, developing agency, and tolerating the distress of not knowing. You take a risk, roll the die, and play with what happens, good or bad.

The collaborative nature of the game helps people learn to depend on community. Groups include reflection time to process things that happened in the game and to discover how a particular character or situation connects to their real lives. Sometimes a werewolf in the game is just a werewolf in the game. But sometimes it鈥檚 a metaphor for that wild and ferocious hunger inside. It鈥檚 exciting when interpersonal and intrapersonal discoveries found in game play catalyze personal transformation. I have found that I am most alive helping people navigate into where they are most alive.

Barbara Tantrum

MACP 2010

Counselor at NorthWest Trauma Counseling

As a specialist in early childhood trauma, I work with kids who have been adopted and adults who had childhood trauma. I also supervise and encourage new therapists, and I have a book coming out in Fall 2020 about parenting kids with trauma. I am myself a parent of six: two kids I gave birth to, and four kids we adopted.

Before I was a therapist I was in full-time campus ministry. As a therapist, it can be less clear that I am doing Christian work. But good counseling embodies Christian values: forgiveness, redemption, wholeness, health. I feel that God loves adoption, and I see myself as an adopted child of God. Science is finding that when a kid has early childhood trauma and PTSD, what overcomes that trauma is having good connection with a caregiver. For me, that is so much a picture of Jesus: what overcomes our trauma is having good connection with Jesus and with other people. I think that is the gospel. That鈥檚 the work I do: helping build relationships and helping people find those connections.

A key to my flourishing is connections with other therapists that I鈥檓 in practice with, consult with, or do supervision with. I have seen other counselors try to be really independent; usually that does not go well. The people who do well are people who have connections with other people. I would not want to be doing this work by myself. It鈥檚 hard because you can鈥檛 have community like that without there being conflict, without there being stuff you need to work through. It鈥檚 tough, but it鈥檚 really worth it in the end to have a community that you can work with, dream with and have cammeraderie with.

Alex Zarecki

MATC 2016

Worship Music Director, Japanese Baptist Church of Seattle

Flourishing for me includes collaborative energy. I serve with a sense of lower case 鈥減鈥� pastoral; it enables more collaboration with the folks who have been at this church all their lives and with the newer folks who just walked in or found us from Google. This collaboration is especially important in my context of working in a historically Japanese-American church. I am not Japanese-American, I鈥檓 European-American, so it鈥檚 a little unusual for someone like me to be in such a space.

The fact that I have a team in my workspace makes a tremendous difference. It鈥檚 not just me trying to figure things out on my own; I can ask questions and be a student of the context. I鈥檝e learned about the history of the organization, individual people鈥檚 histories, what sort of dynamics have existed, why things are the way they are. It鈥檚 a practice of collaboration that creates community with my coworkers and laypeople, and I think that sense of community is imperative to doing anything worthwhile.

Music can be a great way to invite everybody into a space. As a church, we鈥檙e becoming more multiethnic and confidently intergenerational. We鈥檝e seen that there can be a holding together in the midst of theological diversity because of a greater sense of community. Music and art can help us navigate spaces that are otherwise impasses.

As someone who sees the role of the artist as close to the prophetic tradition, I have found that some social media has been helpful for hearing the voices of other Christians. These other voices reorient me as I am creatively thinking about problem solving and attending to the resistance in my work.

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To flourish is to find meaning in the midst of struggle, to adapt and grow in response to challenge. In the midst of pandemic, increased awareness of injustice, and the realities of ministry in post-Christian contexts, we don鈥檛 lack for challenges! But we do lack a clear picture of what flourishing Christian leadership looks like and how to move towards it.

Flourishing leaders aren鈥檛 work-addicted martyrs, and they don鈥檛 all work within church walls. A flourishing Christianity requires a more flexible understanding of what ministry is and an inspirited imagination for what it could be.

To research what flourishing leadership and contextually-responsive ministry looks like, asked alumni of 天美视频 of Theology & Psychology about how they serve. What are the challenges to their wellbeing in that service? What helps them to flourish while serving in complex contexts? Though some of their job titles may be surprising, all these leaders see their careers as expressions of their Christian identity.

In listening to these leaders, we found six common themes–practices and ways of being that other leaders can apply to increase their own flourishing. This blog series will share those themes, one at a time, through the stories of flourishing leaders. To see the other themes and leader profiles, read the . This week鈥檚 theme is identity: leaders need a connection to God that grounds their identity.

Matthias Roberts

MATC 2017
MACP 2018

Therapist, Podcaster, Author.

I help LQBTQ+ people and allies to live confidently. Much of my work is inviting LGBTQ+ people into flourishing. For so many of us queer folk who grew up in religious contexts, we鈥檝e been told flourishing is not for us or that it looks very different from the way we know we are internally wired. My work is to share the vision that we can be faithful Christ followers who fully live out who we were created to be.

This vision requires a lot of translation work. How do we talk about theology in ways that are fresh and different so that they don鈥檛 bring up pain and triggers? And among faith communities, how do we hold the tension of deep division around sexuality and this vision of the eschaton, of what flourishing would look like?

At 天美视频, I was able to unpack what kept me back from my flourishing, through seeing that God is so much bigger than I imagined and through doing story work at The Allender Center. Something Dr. Stearns talked about is that we have to be full first and then work from our overflow. The Holy Spirit fills us up, and then we work out of that instead of us being completely empty. I learned that if we are working at being healthier people, we can bring others along on that journey

My book, , is for folks who grew up within purity culture. How do we work with the sexual shame we鈥檝e been given? How do we create more expansive sexual ethics, without abandoning our values? My hope is that people will find more freedom to explore this world of sex and sexuality.

David Rice

MDIV 2010

Lead Pastor

Knowing that I can only take people as far as I鈥檝e been willing to go in my own journey has been the framework I鈥檝e used over and over as I lead. I don鈥檛 know how pastors lead churches faithfully without knowing themselves, their story, how they relate to and impact others–without being fluent in the dark places of their lives. It鈥檚 a huge reason why so many younger pastors burn out. They know 鈥渉ow鈥� to be a pastor, but they were never invited to consider how to 鈥渂e鈥� a pastor.

I鈥檝e learned from Bren猫 Brown that it鈥檚 good to hear from and learn from folks who are critical of you, but it鈥檚 not helpful for you to give everyone鈥檚 words and ideas equal weight. If the critic isn鈥檛 in the arena with you, working to birth the thing you鈥檙e working to birth, their words don鈥檛 count as much. They may feel strongly, but if they鈥檙e not committed to the same future as you and your partners are committed to, then be kind, but pay little attention. Ask, 鈥淲hat is there in this for me to learn?鈥� and then continue doing your work.

Resilience is a necessary attribute of a faithful pastor, and putting my ideas about faith into practice has been key to strengthening the muscles of resilience. Ideas are neat, but practices are sustaining. For instance, consider the difference between just reading the text that says, 鈥渞ejoice in the Lord always鈥� versus reading the text and then taking the time to write out 100 things that you are thankful for. That鈥檚 the difference between knowing we should 鈥渞ejoice鈥� and practicing the rejoicing. The practice itself can revolutionize how you see the world. Gratitude as a practice is a fear and cynicism killer.

Elliot Huemann

MACP 2019

Associate Faculty Counselor at Edmonds Community College, Private Practice Therapist

Working primarily with LGBTQ+ individuals, many of whom have been profoundly harmed by religious institutions, has required me to tease apart what it practically means to serve God and neighbor in my context. At the core of the Christ message for me is the persistent belief that there is a cycle of life, death, and resurrection always trying to unfold. Whether we explicitly name it as Christian or not, I find that all of my clients are wanting to live more fully into this cycle, daily desiring a more full experience of life and identity. In offering a kind witness, I hope to help my clients find the freedom inherent in the Christ cycle.

The biggest challenge to my flourishing has been finding a way to integrate my own evolving spirituality in my work in a way that feels authentic while honoring my doubt and my client鈥檚 own spiritual and emotional journeys. There have been a number of moments when I have realized that the Christian 鈥渁nswers鈥� either fail to capture the fullness of the moment with a client or have actually been used to harm one or both of us. At times I鈥檓 tempted to throw it all out and reject Spirit in the process. However, in those moments my clients return to something beyond us in the work, and I am reminded that we are both discovering a way forward together.

More than anyone else, my partner provides me with the care I need to stay engaged in this work. He consistently engages my process and talks with me about the many questions I have regarding what it means to be a healing presence in the world.

Learn more about and the Certificate in Resilient Service.

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