The intent of the matching grant is to give the programs support as they move toward the goal of self-sustainability. Over the next five years, these funds must be matched by to support the program. These funds will continue to develop the Center鈥檚 capacities to reach new audiences, cultivate partnerships, and build relationships with donors.聽

The grant is a recognition of the Center鈥檚 deep impact and innovative work with ministry leaders. True to the mission of the school, these programs train for service at the intersection of text, soul, and culture by focusing on relationships and the formation of the whole person of the leader in context. Connecting a leader鈥檚 life story with the divine narrative are key components of building resilience and preparing leaders to develop transforming relationships in their contexts.

Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of 天美视频, commented on the project: 鈥淲e live in an era of immense social change, and we know that times of great change hold even greater possibilities. The Center equips leaders to cultivate those possibilities through transforming the ways we relate to one another鈥� going beyond traditional leadership training to equip leaders to be resilient in and responsive to their contexts in order to serve God and neighbor. I am grateful to Lilly Endowment for supporting this work; our society deeply needs resilient, responsive leaders for the era ahead.鈥�

The Center鈥檚 resilience development programs were founded and developed as an early project of the Thriving in Ministry Initiative in 2017; the presently awarded funds will support the work through 2028. Working at the intersection of theology and the social sciences, 天美视频 has always been well-situated to equip Christian leaders to face the systemic challenges in ministry. In its first years, the project team researched the well-being of ministry leaders through review of resilience literature and their own research. From those learnings, the 3-P model of resilience (People, Practices, and Purpose) was developed and shared in the . That report has spread widely and has been used by other organizations as the foundation of pastoral support programs across the country.

Throughout the pandemic, the Center continued to develop transformational spaces to guide people through difficulties with greater resilience and peer support. More recently, the team heard the need to address clergy burnout and with a follow-up report and podcast series.

The recent funding from Lilly Endowment will enable the Center for Transforming Engagement to continue the crucial work of equipping leaders to thrive. The Center will continue to offer cohort programs, individual coaching, and organizational consultation. The core of their work is focused on Resilience Circles and Leaders Circles.

鈥淲e know that change has the best chance of enduring when it occurs in the context of relationships,鈥� commented Kate Rae Davis, Executive Director of the Center. 鈥淲henever possible, we encourage people to join a Circle so that they鈥檙e not only learning how to make positive changes, they鈥檙e also getting the social support and encouragement to live those changes.鈥�

In , participants learn to integrate positive life changes that support their well-being in a mutually supportive group of like-hearted people seeking to make similar changes. support those seeking to realize organizational change with teachings and space to reflect on group dynamics and leadership. As participants journey together in a small group facilitated by a trained Convener, they find the relational safety needed to encourage mutual growth and transformation.

Davis continued: 鈥淟illy Endowment knows that relationships are the context for thriving. I鈥檓 grateful for the continuation of the Thriving in Ministry Initiative, which does immense work to support ministry leaders across North America, and I鈥檓 particularly grateful for the trust they have shown in our project.鈥�

The Thriving in Ministry Initiative helps pastors develop meaningful relationships with wise colleagues who can guide them through leadership challenges, especially during transitions in their ministerial careers. Lilly Endowment has awarded grants to 129 religious organizations located in 33 states across the U.S. and the District of Columbia. Thriving in Ministry projects are led by theological schools, faith-based colleges and universities, congregations, denominational agencies, independent religious organizations, and religious communities that reflect diverse Christian traditions, serving pastoral leaders in congregational settings from a wide variety of racial and cultural backgrounds, denominations, geographic settings, and regions.聽

Lilly Endowment Inc. is an Indianapolis-based private foundation created in 1937 by J.K. Lilly and his sons, Eli and J.K. Jr., through gifts of stock in their pharmaceutical business, Eli Lilly and Company. While those gifts remain the financial bedrock of the Endowment, the Endowment is a separate entity from the company with a distinct governing board, staff, and location. In keeping with its founders鈥� wishes, the Endowment supports the causes of community development, education and religion.

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Earlier this year we spoke with Millicent Haase (MDiv 鈥�21) to learn more about why she chose to pursue a Master of Divinity degree and her vision for ministry post-graduation. Keep reading to learn more about what Milli encountered in her courses and her Integrative Project鈥攁n in-depth dissertation each theology student completes as a culmination of their studies.

What drew you to 天美视频’s Master of Divinity graduate program?

Seminary had been on my mind for a while before pursuing my Master of Divinity (MDiv) degree at 天美视频. Before coming to the red brick building, I had completed my MA in Comparative Religion at the University of Washington and had taught undergraduate religion courses鈥攂oth as a Teaching Assistant and then as a Faculty Liaison. I was trained to look at religion secularly鈥攁s a human, social phenomenon with quantifiable data points鈥攖hat considering seminary was initially easily dismissed as 鈥渘o, I鈥檓 too academic for that.鈥� I grew up in Hawai鈥檌 with a fusion of progressive, non-denominational Christian theologies and indigenous worldviews, and felt comfortable taking a critical look at religion. What I found I was missing at UW, though, was the permission to both critically examine and engage religion鈥攂ecause I do believe religion is the most fascinating subject and the Bible is the greatest story ever told (especially if you read it in Hebrew and Greek!)鈥�and also be in conversation with God. Because when I am honest with myself, I am not just an academic, I am a fully embodied, believing, spiritual, soulful person looking for smart and alternative ways to engage the Divine in community. 天美视频 balanced both of these impulses, and today I feel like a more well-rounded and robust Christian scholar-practitioner.

My coming to 天美视频 was slightly serendipitous 鈥� or Spirit lead 鈥� in that I had a co-worker enrolled in the MACP program at the time I began looking at seminaries, and my mentor (Dr. James Wellman, UW) casually looped me in that his wife attended 天美视频 and he absolutely saw me attending. Upon arriving on campus for my initial campus tour and exploration with Ashlee Knight, Dr. Ron Ruthruff greeted me at the front desk, and I must say, his down-to-earth, real, no-nonsense welcome sealed it for me. I thought to myself: 鈥淲hat is this rugged, progressive, red-brick building of a school?鈥� And: 鈥淚f Dr. Ruthruff is the kind of faculty that鈥檚 here, I鈥檓 in.鈥� Dr. Ruthruff would go on to become my Integrative Project advisor and biggest source of understanding, support, and encouragement throughout my time at 天美视频.

What have you been surprised by in this MDiv program?

What鈥檚 so great about 天美视频 is its multi-denominational aspect. What surprised me was that, while a lot of my peers were deconstructing their long-held theologies鈥攁nd I was as well, to be sure鈥擨 found myself falling into theologies in a way that amazed me. I never felt indoctrinated, but the more we dug deep into the Bible, various historical translations, and how various translations have shifted through time, I didn鈥檛 find myself falling away from Christianity, but rather, falling deeper into Christianity in a more multifaceted way. And I feel tremendously hopeful in this. The time has long come for the deconstruction of calcified systems and patterns, and rather than feeling at a loss, I feel encouraged that something new and beautiful and Spirit lead is being birthed, and I鈥檓 thrilled to be part of the conversations.

In what ways has your story impacted, shaped, or inspired your studies?

My growing up in Hawai鈥檌 shaped my theologies, and my lived experiences bubbled up so powerfully that for my final Integrated Project, I researched Hawaiian de-colonial and anti-colonial theologies and practices. For my first Master鈥檚 degree (MA in Comparative Religion at UW), I spent considerable time on location in Israel and the Occupied Territories studying Modern Hebrew and Arabic and researching the ways the religious courts are modernizing, rendering religion a considerable part of human social change and influence. I鈥檓 absolutely in love with the Middle East and thought I might continue looking towards that region of the world in my research. But my story turned me around 鈥� literally 鈥� towards my Pacific context, a place which deeply informed me, a prophetic place that has claimed Jesus as their own to powerfully and radically undermine empire 鈥� and everything clicked into place. Of course, I see the world the way I do, and what鈥檚 more: there鈥檚 value to my perspective. So, I leaned into my story.

Tell us about the Integrative Project. What topic did you choose and why? What did you learn from the process, and how have you applied it to your work?

My Integrative Project鈥擲鈥攊s one example of an anticolonial engagement with a decolonial theologian for the shared venture of prophetically undermining empire as contextually located, fully embodied Jesus followers.

Eurocentric churches have attempted programs of racial reconciliation to varying degrees of success, most of which are left wanting. Our task as white Christians seeking appropriate antiracist and anticolonial ally-ship is to listen and to be changed by story. Rather than fit indigenous narratives into our own, for example, how can we be changed 鈥� seriously theologically and systemically changed? This project is an anticolonial project 鈥� one from within the dominating majority seeking to undermine power – that seeks to unsettle Eurocentric theologies. Decolonial theologians 鈥� theologians from the margins – are illuminating biblical motifs and theologies in nuanced ways, and these are the voices we need to guide us into more complete and unfolding ethics of Jesus if we are to advance the broader postcolonial project of dismantling systems of white supremacy.

By looking to Rev. Dr. Kaleo Patterson as one example of an indigenous decolonial theologian nuancing Eurocentric theologies, practitioners are invited to consider the ways the Hawaiian demigod Kukailimoku illuminates: 1. God鈥檚 desire to simply be with us; 2. The invitation to re-image the Cross; 3. The shortcomings of atonement theories and the invitation to something new. Drawing upon social anthropology, theology, biblical studies, and history, I excavate Patterson鈥檚 sermons, take us to the biblical motifs Patterson himself highlights, and then explore what indigenously nuanced theologies look like and what this means for anticolonial allies. While I am drawing heavily on the work of Rev. Dr. Patterson as one example of a decolonial indigenous theologian, I am not merely reporting his words and ideas. Rather, I am accepting Patterson鈥檚 invitation, among other decolonial theologians, to poke holes in Eurocentric theologies, and modeling ways by which our theological imaginations can play and expand in liberating ways.

What are your hopes, dreams, and desires as they relate to your future vocation?

I accepted the position of Assistant Instructor for 天美视频 and I am honored and thrilled to continue in this project of robust engagement with the Divine in such a life-giving community. Coaching graduate-level writing and research in the seminary classroom pulls on both parts of me: one comfortable with critically interrogating religion鈥擟hristian missions in Hawai鈥檌 have a lot to answer to鈥攁nd also one deeply engaged with the Divine all around me. I鈥檇 love to keep working with religion in academic settings, perhaps even continue my research in a doctoral program? Dr. Ruthruff held strong to Integrative Project page limit because I was ready to write another 100 pages more, so there鈥檚 so much more for me to say and learn and experience and challenge.

How has your time at 天美视频 prepared you for what’s next?

I thought I was too academic for seminary, but while at 天美视频 I have pastored my peers and teachers. I have co-facilitated communion for our community in ways that challenge traditional church hierarchies. I have preached on campus and for an urban church community. I have broken bread with our unhoused neighbors, prayed with them, laughed and cried with them, and have been taught by them. I belong to a cohort of peers and teachers that have journeyed alongside me and will no doubt be with me through every next stage (my baby shower was even on campus!). I have co-hosted campus vespers services, vigils, celebrations, and banquets alongside student leadership. I was chosen to be our graduation student speaker. I have practiced pastoring in a safe space, and now I鈥檓 ready for more.

What drives you to continue in ministry?

This is such a robust field bursting forth with new life and potential. This is especially felt in the Pacific Northwest, a place of church 鈥渘ones,鈥� who aren鈥檛 鈥渘one鈥� as initially thought, but are looking for 鈥� and bringing forth – alternatives. This is absolutely the place to be at the most exciting time.

What advice would you give someone who鈥檚 interested in our Master of Divinity program?

I was tucked in a corner on campus once, reading, and President Dr. Derek McNeil paused while passing by to tell me to look up every now and then. Yes, so much learning comes from our books, and for a theology student, our reading lists are like gift lists, but what we will remember most comes from our experiences in community. 天美视频 is a special place. You will be challenged, to be sure, you will learn, and you will grow, but it鈥檚 the people who make this place what it is. If Spirit is wooing you, like she did me, come and experience.

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鈥淚n the , we looked at the big picture of what Christian leaders need to move beyond surviving the challenges of ministry into growing and experiencing grace in the midst of those challenges. For our second study, we wanted to pay attention to the stories of people who we鈥檇 seen flourish in ministry,鈥� said , Researcher for Resilient Leaders Project and primary curator of the Flourishing in Service research report.

鈥淥ur questions were big,鈥� said , Director of Resilient Leaders Project. 鈥淗ow do Christian leaders serve in post-Christendom contexts? How do leaders sustain themselves? But those questions couldn鈥檛 be answered by a big view alone. We wanted to know how leaders navigate relationships and service in this context. So we decided to talk to a few.鈥�

What is ministry today? And, because we care deeply about the wellbeing ministry leaders, we鈥檙e asking: What does it take to flourish in service?

The report began to take shape as Andrea and Kate asked their peers at 天美视频 to identify those who exemplified service in ministry, especially those who were doing so in interesting and unique ways. Upon selecting and interviewing a group of individuals, the Resilient Leaders Project team coded and noted the themes that resonated both within and across interviews, thus forming the foundation of the report鈥檚 conclusions. In addition to the conclusions, we are also sharing the profiles of these leaders, as the specifics of their stories inspire a broader imagination for ministry possibilities.

鈥淭his focus on the stories of individuals is important because so much of the work we do in Resilient Leaders Project is helping leaders look at their own stories to build self-awareness, self-compassion. We find that looking at your own story actually helps you see and participate in the bigger picture of the work of the Spirit in the world,鈥� noted Andrea.

In sharing this report, desires to help the Christian community by identifying the themes that will equip others to pursue their own resilience and by articulating patterns about what effective ministry looks like now in a post-Christendom United States.

鈥淭he distinction between Christianity and Christendom was really important for us,鈥� said Kate. 鈥淲e鈥檙e based in Seattle, which has often been cited as one of the 鈥榤ost post-Christian鈥� cities in the United States 鈥� but our experience doesn鈥檛 match that. […] We see lots of flourishing ministry here; it’s just rooted in a different understanding of the relationship between the church and culture. In many ways, the stripping away of the dominance of Christianity has allowed truer forms of faith to emerge. So, what does it mean to serve in a post-Christendom context? What does it mean to love your post-Christendom neighbor? What is the shape of Christian community in post-Christendom contexts? These leaders give us some early glimpses and offer their experiences to help expand leaders鈥� imaginations for how to move into post-Christendom relationships with faith, hope, and love 鈥� and authenticity.鈥�

You can read the Flourishing in Service research report here.

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We met with Alicia Shepherd to talk about her internship at (through Sound Mental Health), a local nonprofit that helps people transform their lives through job training in the foodservice industry, and her number one recommendation for prospective MACP students.

What initially drew you to 天美视频?

I was looking for something different, and 天美视频 was definitely different. I had known about work, through his books and hearing him speak, and got interested. And, I’ve always been drawn to the West Coast. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do. I’m a massage therapist, so I went to massage school when I was 19 and that opened the door to holistic health and well-being鈥攁nd I was looking for the thing that I wanted to do. It was actually when I started going to therapy myself when I was in college that it all sort of clicked for me. So, since I became interested, I began looking for good therapy programs and found 天美视频.

In what ways has your story impacted, shaped, or inspired your studies?

The thing that I love about this school is they really ask us to put skin in the game. It’s really hard to go through this program and not have it touch your story in a lot of different ways. So, constantly things in my story that maybe I haven’t looked at in a long time or looked at in a particular way have come up, and it’s been really incredible to have so many people hold different parts of my story with such care and love. That’s been healing personally, and it allowed me to grow that capacity in my work with my patients going forward.

What breaks your heart and how are your studies informed by that kind of shattering?

I think loneliness is the number one thing. I can’t remember the quote, but Mother Teresa said something like, 鈥淭he worst illness out there is loneliness.鈥� I really think that’s true. Being in a space where people are here and can see you and can hold parts of your story that you haven’t been able to look at has been really healing. I take that with me into my work with my patients all the time. So much of what I see, no matter what the diagnosis is or what the presentation of symptoms is, a lot of times comes back to loneliness, whether it’s a broken relationship with others or a broken relationship with themselves. Learning how to, it sounds really cheesy, but be friends with yourself. Love yourself. And then be able to love other people, too.

Can you describe your current internship, including your title and daily activities?

My internship is with Sound Mental Health, which is a large community mental health organization. There are a lot of different departments in Sound Mental Health. My internship is really cool because I’m in this one small sliver of it doing a partnership with FareStart, which is an adult culinary job training program for adults who are coming out of incarceration or homelessness. So, technically I work for Sound, but I’m kind of like a rogue agent being at FareStart. I get to do one-on-one therapy, so part of it feels like more traditional, private practice. But I get to encounter a lot of people from all across the board. Things from being involved with the legal system, a lot of substance use-related stuff, and trauma. All age ranges, all different walks of life.

Do you have any impactful stories from your experience at FareStart?

I’ve had this happen a few times, where I’ll think about the first time I met with a client and how they came in, and then in just 5 to 10 sessions later, being able to see a huge change. I hear them say things like, 鈥淲hen I first came here I didn鈥檛 talk to anyone, and now I am making friends.鈥� One of my clients said, 鈥淚 never thought I would be able to do anything besides make $8 an hour for the rest of my life. Now I see myself doing really big things and being in a leadership position. Now I know that I can do these things.鈥� It was in there all along, I just had to go for a ride with them. To see that shift in them in such a relatively short period of time is incredible. I feel very lucky and astonished that I get to do this work.

How has your time at 天美视频 prepared you for this internship?

I’ve borrowed all of these things from different professors in different classes, and even interactions with classmates in practicum. That all shapes who I am when I sit with my clients in session. If I hadn’t done the hard work myself and struggled through it, and sat with my own heartache, there is no way I’d be able to do this with my clients. Sometimes I hear things that are shocking and are heartbreaking and very difficult to sit with. And if I didn’t learn how to do that at school first, I wouldn’t be able to do it at all. I have this wealth of theory, and all of that is very, very important in giving me something to work on, but it’s that plus the experiential learning bit, the two of them together, that gives me a leg to stand on when I’m sitting with clients.

What are your hopes, dreams, and desires as they relate to your future vocation?

Because of my massage therapy background, I really love bodywork. I would love to find some cool ways to combine mind and body, especially as it relates to trauma. My dream or my goal is that I’d love to do a group practice with other practitioners, other therapists, and have some bodywork as well, to be able to provide a space that integrates mind and body a lot more. I also love teaching and leadership, too, so I’d love to do workshops or classes.

Can you talk about the impact of the community during your time at 天美视频?

I met some of the most creative and amazing people during my time here. Not just my classmates, but my professors, too. I highly respect and value my professors. To have them to learn from, but then also my colleagues, my classmates. To talk about ideas with, outside of class. Or, now that we’re all in our internships, it’s so nice to have a community of people that are going through it, too, that I can say 鈥淚 had a really tough day today. Have you ever dealt with this?鈥� and they get it. Absolutely crucial. This community, for me personally and now as I’m shifting into the professional world, they mean a lot to me.

What advice would you give someone who’s interested in attending graduate school?

Go to therapy, go to therapy, go to therapy. Do your own therapy first. That’s my number one recommendation for people that want to do this work. I didn’t really know what I was getting into until I got here, honestly. And that’s what a lot of people say. Also, talk to people that are doing what you think you might want to do. Sit down with them and ask them how they got there, what it’s like, and could you really see yourself doing it? Ask about the nitty-gritty, day-to-day stuff. If you don’t like doing paperwork, then maybe mental health is not the right place for you. Things like that you don’t think about. Ask somebody who’s been doing it a while about their experience.

When I first got here my first year, I was really struggling to adjust. I had moved across the country from Florida. Something I wish I would have known was to reach out. Ask for help. It鈥檚 been so helpful to form relationships with people that I can go to now and say, 鈥淗oly crap, I don’t know what I’m doing.” Or, 鈥淚’m really freaking out about this,鈥� and have someone to listen. Going to graduate school feels like 鈥淚’m in grad school. I have to have everything together. I have to know what I’m doing,鈥� and that’s really not the case. This is very messy sometimes. So expect the disruption and the messiness, but also know that it’s okay to ask for help.

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Here, Minjoo Bayers, a fourth-year counseling student, shares about her experience as a Mental Health Intern at Kentucky Refugee Ministries and the driving force behind her journey to the field of mental health.

What initially drew you to attend 天美视频?

I had attended workshops and conferences from . These were life-changing for me and I wanted more.

How has the focus on theology as well as psychology impacted your studies?

I have always wanted to study theology, so I really enjoyed those classes. New Testament with Dr. Parker, Old Testament with Dr. Kang, and God & Persons (and others) with Dr. Stearns were deeply formative for me, not just as a practitioner, but as a human being on this Earth. The undoing of the bad theology I grew up with was important for my own personal freedom and is also important for my work with other Image Bearers. Having the combination of theology and psychology courses helped solidify my foundation as a future therapist who desires to sit with clients holding Love (attunement or unconditional positive regard or jeong or any other name) and Hope for them. Seeking out therapy is an endeavor full of hope because it is based on believing our future can be better. I think this is one of the things that makes me an “Allenderist” – that my foundation as a therapist is based on love and hope.

In what ways has your story shaped or inspired your work?

I learned from the intersection of my stories and my studies. I often found my story, my heart, my soul dissected open in the personal papers we wrote and in our Practicum I class (now appropriately called “listening labs”). It feels like something akin to a med student being asked to practice surgery on their own organs. Certainly, not everyone’s journey here has to be that painful, but I think it would be a lost opportunity if you walked away from 天美视频 without being deeply changed. I believe the personal story work aspect of my studies will make me a more impactful and understanding therapist.

What breaks your heart, and how are you informed by that kind of shattering?

Children and families separated and detained at the borders of our country breaks my heart. North Korean refugees who risk everything to escape their homes breaks my heart. Just a few miles north of my home country of South Korea, there are prison camps where people who should be my neighbors are treated inhumanely by their own government (although women in North Korean prison camps have been reported to get maternity leave unlike this country). I desire to keep working with refugees because it brings relief to my shattered soul.

Can you describe your current internship, including your title and daily activities?

I am a Mental Health Intern at (KRM). KRM is a local resettlement agency providing many services for refugees whose new homes are in Louisville, Kentucky. In my position I mainly provide individual sessions for those who have been identified as having a need for therapy. With KRM I also have the opportunity to teach English to the preliterate elderly. I really enjoy my internship and I like that I am able to do therapy and teach language skills as well as collaborate and learn from my supervisor and other caseworkers at KRM.

Why did you choose to intern at Kentucky Refugee Ministries?

My mother-in-law had told me she heard about there being some North Korean refugees in Louisville. I googled around and found KRM. I was able to apply for their internship program online and they offered me a position.

A group from Kentucky Refugee Ministries.

How has your time at 天美视频 prepared you for this internship?

The things that I unlearned and learned at 天美视频 about who I am, who God might be, freed me (at least in part) from the bondage of patriarchy, misogyny, white supremacy, and other bad theology. I have always been an empath, but it was a bit unbounded and chaotic. My time at 天美视频 taught me about boundaries and that it is okay to care for myself. Not only is it okay, but it is necessary to care for yourself in order to be able to care for others. I also use the giant portfolio from Psychopathology and what we learned in Ethics class to keep myself tethered and grounded.

What are your hopes, dreams, and desires as they relate to your future vocation?

I have this feeling that I have no idea how awesome my future is going to be. I want to keep volunteering at KRM after my internship is over. I hope that throughout my career I will be working with marginalized communities. I haven’t gotten to work with North Korean refugees yet (or with South Korean people), but I hope to. I have this dream of starting group therapy with an organization in California called (LiNK), who rescues North Korean refugees.

“I believe that our field is one that puts out Love into the world.

I want to be a part of that鈥攂eing a Love-monger.”

-Minjoo Bayers

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We recently sat down with Danielle Castillejo, a current intern with in South Seattle. She talked with us about her journey to becoming a therapist, how she balances graduate school and raising a family, and the deeply impactful work she encounters during her internship at REST.

What initially drew you to attend 天美视频?

I had actually gone through a really hard time in my life and was experiencing some PTSD symptoms, so I began therapy. Over the course of two years I met with my therapist regularly, and one day she handed me a book called A Shining Affliction. I took it home and read it in one day. the story of Annie Rogers and her process of dealing with her own heartache, pain, and trauma as she’s becoming a psychologist. I walked back into my therapist鈥檚 office the next week, and I said, 鈥淚 want to do this. You’ve done great work with me, I want to offer this to someone else.鈥� My therapist was connected to The Seattle school, and the way she worked with me was with such kindness and honor, and really challenged me to look at hard spaces in my life. t I thought, 鈥淲ell, that’s what I want to do鈥� So, I applied to The Seattle school.

In what ways has your story impacted, shaped, or inspired your studies?

I’ve learned that it’s so important to know who I am and where I’ve come from. Not just the trauma stories of my life, but the ethnic identity I have and how that impacts me. I am half German and I鈥檓 half Mexican. How do those things come together? I have found that they do come together and influence the way I think, and the way I raise my family. Being at the school has helped me unpack those things, and I’m able to bring it home. Not just to clients or into a work setting, but I’m bringing it home to my family by asking new questions with my husband, and my friends, and my community.

How have you been able to balance attending graduate school, having an internship, and your family?

A lot of people ask me, 鈥淒anielle, how do you do it?鈥� And usually, I don’t want to answer. I think of it as a continuum. There are periods and seasons in life where we have something that we’re able to do more than we’re able to do other things. So, I am not able to do this without the support of my husband and friends and a couple of women that have mentored me through the process. It looks like asking for help a lot. It looks like I can’t make a meal every night, so maybe we need to add in the budget an aspect where we’re able to eat out. Or it looks like calling on friends to say, 鈥淐an you pick up my kids from school today?鈥� It looks like taking time out of my schedule to coach my son’s basketball team, but since I can’t be there every night, I have to ask someone to help me out. At this time in my life, in different semesters even, the continuum shifts. Sometimes I’m able to be more present at home and activities, and other times I have to be less present.

What breaks your heart and how are your studies informed by that kind of shattering?

The things that break my heart are spaces where truth isn’t welcome. Spaces where kindness isn’t welcome. Spaces where certain bodies aren’t welcome. Different colors of people aren’t welcome. Different ethnicities aren’t welcome. Spaces where the gospel is only seen through one lens, and it’s not a lens that includes people of color. I think that I highlight that, particularly because my family is a multicultural, multiethnic family. My husband is a Mexican immigrant, a U.S. Citizen and we have four children. It’s important to me to find spaces where there’s belonging. I think a lot of my clients are looking for spaces to belong to as well. And that breaks my heart.

Can you describe your current internship, including your title and daily activities?

The title at my internship at REST is Survivor Engagement Specialist and intern. On Mondays, I lead a support group for survivors of the sex trade. It鈥� s an open group, members shift every week, but once the doors are shut, that’s our group. Prior to the group space, I’m engaging with clients, meeting with them one on one. We sit down and have a cup of coffee or a cup of tea and talk. There’s a wide variety of ways to engage clients鈥攊t’s not your typical office setting. So, I do that for a few hours, lead the group for about an hour, hour and a half, and then afterward debrief with coworkers, supervisor, and start the cleanup.

On Wednesdays, we have something called the Integrative Health Clinic and I intern in that space. There are two trauma therapists: myself and a medical advocate. A client can make an appointment for a half-hour and come, sit at the table with us, and share mental health concerns and physical concerns. Sometimes we have a faith friend there. 鈥淵ou want to explore faith issues? You can go do that.鈥� It鈥檚 a way to brainstorm practical support for needs.

At 天美视频, counseling psychology interns can choose their internship site. Why did you choose REST?

I believe in what REST is doing. One of the things they say on their website is 鈥淓verybody deserves to be loved.鈥� And I believe that. I’m passionate about seeing people that have experienced the sex trade, and human trafficking, if that’s what they want is to leave, and joining them on the path towards freedom and healing. I have wonderful coworkers, people who love the clients, and it鈥檚 an opportunity to work in a place that isn’t setting up walls and barriers for care鈥攚e鈥檙e actually brainstorming ways to take down barriers to access care. at.

I’ve had a couple of clients be able to move forward and get an ID card and pursue housing and make small steps towards changing their situation. I’ve been inspired by a client who doesn’t have a telephone, but showed up just to let me know 鈥淚 can’t actually meet with you today.鈥�

Can you talk about the importance of transforming relationships at your internship with REST?

The clients are always watching. They’re observing. They want to know if you’re genuine, if you’re real. They want to know if you’re going to deliver on what you say you’re going to deliver. A relationship is key. If there’s no relationship, there’s going to be no movement. There needs to be a sense of, I can wait with this client through traumatic response, through my own heartache, through the goodness we experienced before, I see this as practice鈥攖he art of building attachment and relationship is practice. I don’t see the missed appointments, as I’m disappointed. I’m sad, but they鈥檙e not the end. I see it as 鈥淥kay, you missed our appointment? That’s one miss out of the way. That means we’re that much closer to you showing up the next time.鈥�

How has your time at 天美视频 prepared you for this internship?

I had a lot of anxiety growing up, and I think without the experience of diving into my story and doing personal work, working on attachment all of these things, the process of becoming aware, the process of knowing more about who I am, has prepared me to step into environments where there aren’t necessarily barriers and containment. Without that, I’m not sure I could have stepped in and stayed grounded. The process of knowing my story, the process of putting in hard work on my own at the same time, has moved me into places where I am better prepared to handle the stories of clients.

What are your hopes, dreams, and desires as they relate to your future vocation?

When I think of life after 天美视频 and graduation, I feel a great sense of grief. What am I going to be missing? Who will I not see? And, I have this awesome sense of excitement, like I’m starting off on another voyage. Some of my hopes are to continue working in the community, and in community mental health, and also open up a private practice. I really want to have a sense of the Integrative Health Clinic that I work with at REST and bring something like that to my area. I love my clients at REST. I’m not ready to leave them yet. So after I graduate I hope to stay connected and. I hope to stay involved. I hope to work in some capacity with survivors that have experienced the sex trade. I really love that aspect and the diversity of the work. like to work with clients from a variety of backgrounds. I speak Spanish, so I’m hoping to use some of these skills in a multicultural dimension.

Looking back, what advice would you offer to prospective or first-year MACP students?

Do your work. Show up to Listening Lab, and participate. Get into therapy, connect with a therapist, and show up for those appointments. And don’t look too far ahead. Be present right in the moment. Then, when you start moving forward, allow yourself to dream. Allow yourself to think, 鈥淲here would I want to intern? What population am I dreaming about working with?鈥� Grab your resume, take it with you to the internship fair, and pass it out to people you think 鈥淚’m not even interested in that,鈥� because you don’t know who you might connect with. Sometimes we have, in our mind, a certain idea or a certain place we think we need to be. If we eliminate another option, we’ve eliminated our imagination for that.

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